Being outflanked on the left by Michael Howard.

Well done, Tony. No really, well done. That hot-cheeked, breathless sensation you’re feeling is pride. Or is it shame? Who knows? You live with the kind of mental dichotomy which would allow you to experience both emotions simultaneously.

Keir Hardie has been turning in his grave for a number of years now. Though he must be spinning so fast at the moment that it’s a wonder he hasn’t reached the Earth’s core.

Now try selling internment to the activists Tony. You know, all those chumps who fill the envelopes and knock on doors? Those poor sods who get your vote out every election?

Come dungeons dark or gallows grim, this song shall be our parting hymn.