My imaginary friend is wiser than your imaginary friend
There’s a lot of fuss at the minute about many men of God, responsible for spreading His message of love and tolerance around the world, who say homosexuals are second class to those of us who like to pleasure the people we like by putting our penises in a different orifice.
In a world of war, poverty, disease and intolerance, it seems – to me – a fairly strange thing to get steamed up about.
My feelings on the subject are expressed by the only imaginary authority on Earth worth giving a damn about. Ladies and gentlemen, President Josiah “Jed” Bartlet.
Bartlet: I like how you call homosexuality an abombination.
Jenna Jacobs: I don’t say homosexuality is an abomination, Mr. President, the Bible does.
Bartlet: Yes, it does. Leviticus.
Jenna Jacobs: 18:22.
Bartlet: Chapter and verse. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I have you here. I’m interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She’s a Georgetown sophmore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? While thinking about that, can I ask another? My Chief of Staff Leo McGarry insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or is it OK to call the police? Here’s one that’s really important because we’ve got a lot of sports fans in this town: touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean. Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? Think about those questions, would you?
Posted on February 25th, 2005 at 8:10am under Religion and theology
“I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other gods you will understand why I dismiss yours.”
- Stephen F. Roberts
I like that very much.
Passed that little peice onto my god bothering friend…his reply..they have an answer for everything you know:
There are three types of law in the Old Testament – moral law, ceremonial law and some other type I can’t remember for now.
I think you’ll find that Christ fulfilled all the demands of the ceremonial law (that’s why we don’t have animal sacrifice in Christian churches – Christ is the ‘perfect sacrifice’) and the other kind. Moral law remains and you’ll find omosexuality comes within that – like stealing,murder etc.
Slavery is a good one though because there’s no outright condemnation of it in the New Testament so far as I’m aware.
I’ll think that you’ll find that Mr Wilberforce was a good, sound, bible-believing, born again, evangelical Christian and he had a commendable input into seeing the back of slavery. Wasn’t he a liberal?
Thank your friend for me – who knew that the Church sees the world in such shades of grey.
It still begs the question: why aren’t these bishops who loathe homosexuals so much out there punishing them according to God’s will?