Got some more election spam from New Labour - can’t find it online unfortunately. This time it’s from the formerly respectable John O’Farrell, whoring his slender celebrity with a “you may not agree with everything that has happened since 1997, but…” schtick. That’s one big fucking “but”.

Hello,

I once got a computerised letter from the New Statesman that said ‘Dear John O’Farrell, subscribe now and get a free copy of Things Can Only Get Better by John O’Farrell’. I’m emailing you as a fellow supporter, don’t worry you don’t have to buy the book.

Anyway, as a Labour activist who has helped the party lose elections at every level, I have been asked to say why I’m going out leafleting for Labour for the general election and why I hope you’ll volunteer to do something too. Everyone agrees the election, whenever that may come, is going to be the closest since 1992 and it is perfectly possible that the Tories could defy the polls to win power as they did in 1970. A major factor between now and polling day is how many Labour supporters we can mobilise. As Voltaire said; ‘All that is necessary for the Tories to triumph is that Labour Party supporters do nothing.’ (Okay, it’s a very loose translation.)

Like me, you may not agree with everything that has happened since 1997, but come election time we cannot risk throwing away all the fantastic achievements of the past eight years. If we sit back and do nothing now, we’ll be turning our backs on all the millions who’ve had their lives radically improved by the minimum wage or Working Families Tax Credit not to mention the millions of people in the third world who’ve benefited from the massive increase in overseas aid.

This isn’t emotional blackmail. Oh all right, it is emotional blackmail, but what the hell?

It is vital that we get our leaflets through millions of letter boxes over the next few weeks - otherwise those rabid Rottweilers waiting on the other side of the door will have nothing to rip to shreds. But if you think those dogs are scary, just imagine Michael Howard on the other side of that front door in Downing Street the morning after the election…

Go on, click on the link now…

http://labour.org.uk/volunteer

John O’Farrell
Author and Broadcaster

P.S The Labour Party machine has dragged me in to harass you into campaigning. So I’ll be emailing you from now until the election. If your friends and family would like to sign up, they just need to follow the link:

http://labour.org.uk

I like John, he’s written some amusing books and his column for the Guardian has a few wry grins in it, but is he really the best New Labour can do? What about all those people who queued to get into Number 10 in 1997? Isn’t Noel Gallagher available? Where are stalwarts of Cool Britannia when you need them?