Live 8: The point being what exactly?

I’m probably in a (soon to be vilified) minority here, but what exactly is the point of holding another Live Aid concert if it’s not going to be a fundraiser?

The set list for the Hyde Park concert is a mixture of some of the most monstrous egos on the planet (Madonna, Robbie Williams, Elton John) and the worst of anodyne nonentities (Muse, Razorlight). It reads like the playlist for the iPod I’m going to be forced to wear when I’m finally consigned to Hell.

The opportunity to appear before an audience of millions of course has nothing to do with mediocrities like the Stereophonics signing up. I notice “Sir” Bob Geldof is on the list as well. I suppose him being the organiser it would be churlish not to let him groan through “I Don’t Like Mondays” one more miserable time.

And why the hell are Coldplay, Keane and Snow Patrol on the bill? Don’t they cancel each other out in the maudlin, piano-driven, why-do-the-nice-girls-hate-me angsty shiteness stakes? Two of these bands are redundant for the purposes of this concert. Can’t they draw straws and two of them stay at home and the winner play three sets – it’ll be no different from what you’re going to get anyway. Or why not combine them into a beige, ulcer-inducing supergroup. And do you know anybody who actually likes Dido? Everybody who owns one of her albums was bought it as a present by an unimaginitive relative.

There’s nothing more unedifying than multi-millionaire popstars lending their talents for free. Like the ubiquitous charity record, if this isn’t about bolstering their careers then why can’t they just chuck in a few spare millions quid each into the kitty and stay at home?

Geldof, in actual fact, says the concerts aren’t to raise cash but awareness and political pressure instead. Which still isn’t a good enough excuse. If this isn’t about feeding already bloated egos then why can’t Elton John, Madonna, McCartney et al put their money where their mouths are and pay for a massive advertising campaign instead. Think of the television slots, internet ads, radio ads, mailshots, newspaper pages, billboards, magazine ads, text messages and emails they could buy. It’d have a much bigger, widespread and sustained effect than a one-off event. No doubt a lot of people will find the concert an ecstatic moment of communion but it’ll get coverage for one day, a few headlines the next day and then turn up again on the “I Remember 2005″ shows in a few years.

But without the concert our entertainers would be denied their great big back-slap while us mere mortals are pushing our noses up against the screen. As it happens, 150,000 proles will be generously allowed to be in Hyde Park in person on the day. Tickets are to be allocated via some convoluted mobile phone lottery (which excludes Elton John’s fanbase for starters). £1.5m of the funds raised through the competition are going to that well known famine relief charity, The Prince’s Trust. The rest will be spent on the event itself so that no massively wealthy popstar will be out of pocket.

The naivety behind the venture that thinks any of this is going to sway the G8 would be hilarious in any other setting. Almost as naive (and hilarious) as Tony Blair thinking he’s going to be able to have a similar effect.

I also wonder if Elton John and his peers are going to march on the G8 meeting at Gleneagles as Geldof is exhorting the rest of us to do. The security at the conference complex is going to be airtight. The marchers will be lucky if a single delegates hears them let alone see them. People power hasn’t had a great record for bringing about change in our leaders’ thinking of late and the merest whiff of trouble at Gleneagles is going to get heads busted. I somehow doubt Madonna will be there getting tear-gassed. Are George Bush’s bodyguards going to ask for shoot-to-kill privileges as they did (but didn’t get) when Bush made his state visit? Only then would I be pleased to see the sludge of popular culture, arms-linked, at the head of the march.

In a final analysis, if people in general didn’t need to be coaxed and emotionally blackmailed into showing human feeling for their fellow man, there’d be no need for this and Bono would be polluting our lives just a little bit less.

Those who care are already engaged in some fashion. If starving black children sold as many papers as copulating celerities, Africa would be quids in.

UPDATE 02/06: And another thing. The set list for Hyde Park as it currently stands features white artist only. Black and Asian culture features not at all. With rumours of the Spice Girls reforming for the event, it looks like they might be able to shoehorn one black face in, if only one who’s most recent impact on popular culture was three years ago. It’s also worth noting that the seven people sitting around the table at the Live 8 launch press conference were all white, middle-aged men. I doubt it’s intentional but the continuing white man’s burden schtick is just ugly.

UPDATE 02/06: The Times – Concert line-up attacked for being all-white

Organisers say privately that there are not sufficient British black artists who can deliver ticket requests in volume and meet the expectations of a global audience of two billion.

Message to black artists: try to be more whitebread – white artists like Eminem are allowed to appropriate black culture (it sells better to white middle class wannabes if it comes from the likes of him) but the black man needs to be more like Chris Martin. Wait, there’s more. How about this for an unsourced, unsubstantiated smear:

It is believed that some urban artists requested payment for appearing, which the organisers said was a demand that they could not comply with.

“It is believed”. By who? The journalist or the organisers? The Times didn’t have the balls to say which urban artists or just who has this “belief”. No names so no libel but the message is clear: there’d be black artists on the bill if those that have been asked weren’t grasping bastards.


Posted on June 1st, 2005 at 5:27pm under Uncategorized

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10 Comments

10 Comments

  1. Jim Bliss on 01.06.2005 at 19:06 Permalink | Reply

    Gotta disagree. Hopefully I’ll get round to explaining why at some point (just finished a long blog entry and want to get some food and watch a DVD now).

  2. Friendly Fire on 01.06.2005 at 19:21 Permalink | Reply

    My cynical side tells me this is all Blair/Campbell arranged……….

  3. Postman on 01.06.2005 at 21:36 Permalink | Reply

    Fr fire – you cynical bastard – don’t you understand that “Sir” Bob is a fucking Saint!

    I trhink all the funds go to building a nice new Intercontinental Hotel in Addis that the drive by do gooders can stay in and have their pictures took with black picaninnies.

    I noticed “Sir” Bob on Newsnight got very shifty when asked if he would be on themarch to Gleneagles … well…er …i’ll (voice rising in unctuous churchy way) I’ll be THERE.

    I think Tony has taught him a trick or two. “Sir” Bob on the march ? Look hid fucking chelsea fucking boots are fucking scuffed already, why march any more.

    By the way I don’t admire “Sir” Bob (I use the quote marks because, being Oirish he isn’t really a real sir – just sort of honorary – like the Congressional medal of Honour Tony has but hasn’t been given, but you can be sure as hell it will apppear in his authorised autobiography).

  4. Oscar Wildebeest on 02.06.2005 at 12:00 Permalink | Reply

    Well, it just shows how easily you can be duped. I’d assumed it was a genuine fundraiser, and the money would actually go to someone who needs it. Shows what you can miss if you don’t stay alert. Anyway, my respect for Geldof started falling when he began appearing on Grumpy Old Waste of Licence-Payers’ Money…

    (I quite like Dido, actually. When I say ‘quite’, I mean ‘to a limited degree’, rather than ‘very much’. One of those stupid English words – like ’sanction’ – which has two almost opposite meanings.)

  5. Scribbles on 02.06.2005 at 22:38 Permalink | Reply

    Agree with this post except bit on Coldplay and Snow Patrol. I like them. And Dido.

    (Grumpy Old Men did it for me over Geldof too, especially when he mentioned he drank coffee at Starbucks)

  6. Daedalus on 04.06.2005 at 04:47 Permalink | Reply

    it’s called raising awareness. the point is not to sway the G8 leaders; it’s to sway the voters. you know, that thing called democracy. the shows are free. you know, most everybody who’s anybody in rock music is going to be performing at the shows, so i guess if you are going to criticize them all, you just don’t like music.

    and you can be assured that there will be ample opportunities for donating.

  7. Justin on 04.06.2005 at 10:00 Permalink | Reply

    Daedalus:

    >>it’s called raising awareness.

    Yes I know. that why I said “Geldof, in actual fact, says the concerts aren’t to raise cash but awareness and political pressure instead.”

    >>the point is not to sway the G8 leaders; it’s to sway the voters. you know, that thing called democracy.

    So why does the Live 8 website say “The G8 leaders have it within their power to alter history. They will only have the will to do so if tens of thousands of people show them that enough is enough”?

    >> most everybody who’s anybody in rock music is going to be performing at the shows.

    If you believe that a roster of stars whose best years are behind them are “everybody who’s anybody” then me trotting out who I think should be there is unlikely to impress you. I’m talking about the Hyde park concert here – some of the other concerts have made a concession to ethnic diversity and invited some non-white artists. (Though not many I’ll be bopping in my seat to come the day.)

    >>and you can be assured that there will be ample opportunities for donating

    Then why did Geldof say the concerts are “not for charity but political justice”?

  8. Otis on 05.06.2005 at 01:55 Permalink | Reply

    Perhaps there are no black people playing because of sheer coincedence?

    Do you seriously think Geldof has some sort of Jim Crow law on who can play at Live 8? Maybe he just chose the bands he did, and none of them happened to be black.

    I’m not particularly keen on the event either, but if you could have provided a few more examples of why the concert is a bad idea, other than “I don’t like the music therefore the gig will be shit” and “there are no black people, racism!”, it would have made its point far better.

  9. Stuart Dickson on 05.06.2005 at 23:10 Permalink | Reply

    Trackback:

    Bob Geldof the Hypocrite

    http://scottish-independence.blogspot.com/2005/06/bob-geldof-hypocrite.html

    excerpt: - “… Freedom and Whisky points out a slight, eh, “inconsistency” in Saint Bob’s “thinking” (sic):

    Geldof supports free trade!

    … The sainted one’s explanation was that few African performers were of superstar status. That may well be so but I thought that these Live8 chappies believed in Fair Trade – you know, the… “

  10. Robowop on 03.07.2005 at 03:15 Permalink | Reply

    I have a problem with Mr. Geldof’s intelligence too: On NPR this week he said that he was using this event to raise awareness for AIDS, and his “heartwrenching story” totally adds to his stupidity.
    He told of a woman who was diagnosed with HIV at the age of 21, and now ten years later she is hoping that HIV drugs will help her live longer to enjoy watching her 3 children grow up.
    How F’in stupid does he think we are???
    I am more angry that she had 3 kids after she found that she was HIV positive. Basically this means that not only did this woman act irresponsibly, and chose on her own to add to the risk of giving her sex partners HIV, but now she has condemned her 3 children to unwittingly suffer from the disease!
    Call me heartless, but a little common sense would solve the problem, and throwing money at it will do absolutely nothing…
    unless maybe they just air drop a bunch of condoms!!!

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