But baby it’s Coldplay outside…
I have a long list of people that I like to lazily, dreamily hate when I have nothing better to do. I can pass a long, warm summer’s afternoon having a good healthy hate. No two minute quickies for me, mate.
Chris Martin from Coldplay is quite near the top that list. Here’s George Monbiot on Rock’s least-deserving clot:
In an interview with the Guardian recently, Chris Martin, the lead singer of Coldplay and all-round good guy, spoke of his concerns about climate change. On his new album there’s “an intense, angry track encouraging people to make the right decisions about how they live their lives and how they treat the planet.” A few paragraphs on, he revealed that he was about to “fly by private jet to Palm Springs … The band can now afford to fly wherever possible”
Or what about this pearl-studded turd:
“Would it be really possible to start Nazi Germany if you’d just been listening to Bob Marley’s EXODUS back-to-back for the past three weeks and getting stoned? Would the idea of the Holocaust seem so appealing?”
Quick, somebody invent a time machine and load Chris up with reggae LPs and ganja. Or maybe he could start small and attend a BNP meeting, offer round spliffs and give a little rendition “Jamming” in that whiny mum-I’ve-had-an-accident voice of his, see how far that gets him. Knobber. He really was a much more endearing figure when he was a why-do-all-the-nice-girls-hate-me-Natalie-Imbruglia-obsessive who lived with his mum.
And now there’s this:
Gigwise: Chris Martin Snubs Chance To Meet Tony Blair
“I really like Tony Blair. He’s interested in the same things as I am - he plays the guitar and he always gives the impression of doing what he can to help. But I don’t particularly want to be photographed with him at the moment.”
Nice bloke, Tony Blair. Plays guitar, you know. Does what he can to help (or at least gives that impression). Kiss of death to album sales though.
Shouldn’t Chris be out somewhere shilling his unchallenging whitebread lift music?
Posted on August 11th, 2005 at 1:15 pm
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I once saw Coldplay described as “blandly proficient complaint-rock”. Wish I could remember where. And wish I’d coined the phrase first.
I admit I quite like some of Coldplay’s music, however, Chris Martin just falls into that category of ‘ignorant-f**k-who-really-cares-about-stuff-even-though-they-are-a-rich-musician’ along with Bono and Geldof. These people have a platform to spout their beliefs, yet each time they do they demonstrate their complete ignorance of the subject they have in hand.
Chris Martin stating he is against wars, famines and the destruction of our flaggin planet, followed by ‘isn’t Tony Blair a lovely guy, so helpful on such matters’ shows he has spent to much time with his head jammed firmly up his own arse. I agree with him that shareholders are a great evil, but so are ignorant ‘artists’ who use their high public profile to spout utter horseshit about how they ‘care’, when they don’t have a fu**ing clue.
Chicken
Martin is well meaning, naive, hypocritical, that’s pretty clear.
And I agree with Monbiot and yourself… It’s just that the personal insults in your piece directed at Martin seem pretty futile and unnecessary.
He’s just a pop star for Pete’s sake.
Come on, Benjamin. He’s a millionaire pop star immune to my slings and arrows.
He’s a prick of the first order with influence over the thoughts of the weak-minded. Under those terms, his mental vacuity could do with some scrutiny.
Anyway, we don’t know him, he’s not here, let’s have some fun at his expense.
Actually, I was going to get the new Coldplay album, because I found myself enjoying a few of their tracks I heard round and about. Some of the piano work is quite nice.
But I sampled some of the tunes on the new album on Amazon, and found I only liked about two tracks. So forget it.
I went to uni and was in student accommodation for all four of the leading lights of bedwetter music. Martin struck me as a likeable enough guy - he smiled a lot and was softly spoken - but I swear on my ancestors’ ghosts that I never met a bunch of people less suited to rock music. Which would be fine if they hid in their basement and made challenging, compelling music, but given the number of “We always wanted to be famous” interviews snippets I’ve skated over, I can only conclude that this is the era where the Bablyonian Lottery handed the keys to the custodianship of rock to the staff from the finance office.
Whilst not a Coldplay bland-rock fan, I should point out that they are trying to make their most recent album ‘carbon neutral’ by planting tonnes of trees. Chris Martin may not be the nest advicate of green issues but at least he tries. Isn’t that better than just not giving a crap?
Make that “best advocate”. Oops.
They plant trees. Fantastic. Maybe all rock bands who release albums should plant trees, in proportion to the number of CDs they expect to sell.
Never mind that there isn’t enough land for all rock bands to do that, it’s still a great idea.
Never mind that planting trees makes no difference whatsoever. At least they’re trying!!
Coldplay give ten per cent of their money to charity. Yes they could give more, but it’s better than nothing.
They could give 150%, Chris Martin would still be a demon put on this earth to lower the standards.