Run Charles, run!
As we all know, this government can’t see a bandwagon without tear-arsing after it for a bit of reflected glory, to be personally associated with it.
So, it’s gratifying and entirely expected to see Home Secretary Charles Clarke huffing and puffing - the sweat blinding him, his large breakfast heaving in his gullet - after the cart in which the victorious England cricket team are riding into the sunset.
Not wishing to fall under the wheels and have his already shit-streaked reputation mangled any further, Charlie has granted British citizenship to Zimbabwe-born England cricket coach, Duncan Fletcher. After all, the British public are going to be interested in cricket for at least another couple of hours and Clarkie didn’t want to spoil the parade and risk a few “New Labour persecute plucky cricket coach” headlines.
Congratulations to Duncan, who’s waited 15 years for his wish to be granted. And it only took winning the Ashes to do it. If only he’d thought of it sooner.
Verah Kachepa must now be kicking herself. If only she had led a national sports team to victory, been a fast runner or paid money towards a government-sponsored white elephant and brought down a cabinet minister, she’d now be caressing a British passport of her very own and not facing an uncertain future back in Malawi with four children and a fiance who was injured while serving with the army in Iraq.
The lazy cow.
Posted on September 13th, 2005 at 10:19 am
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MBEs and knighthoods all round for the players as well, I hope. After all, they can catch a ball a bit well. Sometimes. And they’re great at standing around in the sun and all.
The BBC news was more than usually idiotic last night.
…great revival of national interest in cricket…
Yep. And the Rugby World Cup saw a great revival of national interest in rugger. I remember it well.
…viewing figures for the Ashes, which are one sign of the renewed interest in the game…
No, the viewing figures are the renewed interest in the game. People like watching sport on telly and getting all patriotic about it. And, er, that’s it.
Eejits.
Hey, I’m a bandwagoneer for cricket too: I was told how it is scored on friday. I’ve gone 22 years of my life NOT knowing that information and not been any worse off for it, but now that I DO know that information, I wonder what important knowledge was knocked out of my head to make room for it. Bloody waste of synapse.
I watched almost every stroke yesterday afternoon. I barely understood one iota and yet couldn’t drag myself away. I think the Ashes’ popularity has been down to its hypnotic quality, like the repetitive elements in meditation.
I went as far as even checking the remaining fixtures on the Sussex County Cricket website last night.
But after a decent night’s sleep I felt much better.
[...] The thing is, we don’t need to be told that Reid is a crowd-pleasing, buck-passing, bandwagon-straddler (you also have to laugh at Clarke for accusing Reid of being a populist) especially by the humbled, punctured ego of a frustrated backbencher with an axe to grind. Anybody able to pick up a newspaper, from the liberal left to the libertarian right via the soft, creamy centre, is a miner’s canary able to give warning of the stink a Reid-led Home Office is cooking up. [...]