KerBlunk!
Not much fun to be had in David Blunkett’s column for The Sun today*. Apparently his dog rolled in some fox shit and the Turner Prize winner who turned his shed into a boat into a shed is just like Blunkett’s kids playing with Transformers. Or summat.
It’s the kind of conversation you’d stab yourself in the neck to avoid if someone started it in the pub. What next? Bring back Spangles, says Blunkett…?(“He’s tough, he’s outspoken…” said The Sun.)
His main piece was a “demolition” of David Cameron which pretty much boiled down to “he’s nothing like Tony, honest”. He made a weak gag with all the political prescience of his dog: “William Hague (remember him?)…” Yes, we do. He’s the new Shadow Foreign Secretary. Rumours of him getting that job have been doing the rounds for at least ten days. Finger on the pulse, eh?
He finished off with with another threat to the self-indulgent:
And Labour rebels beware. You may enjoy tweaking Tony’s tail but all you are doing is making the Tories appear electable again.
Blunkett is being paid over a hundred grand a year for this gold dust, apparently. Of course, we should be immensely grateful that he’s not still polluting our lives as he was a few months ago – in fact, from a certain point of view, keeping Blunkett out of our business is an act of breathtaking altruism from Rupert Murdoch – but it rankles slightly.
I mean, who couldn’t peddle such intellectually subnormal bobbins? I’m doing it right now for nowt.
*I’m flogging this horse until I’ve run out of plays on his name. And I’ve got loads.
Posted on December 8th, 2005 at 7:28pm under Culture, media and sport, UK politics
| Related posts... • The Levy Lark • In camera • HMP Blunkett |
• Permalink • Trackback • Subscribe |
|
|
|
• 8 Comments |
How did he know it was fox shit? Hell, I’ve got two good eyes (and enough brains not to join the Labour Party)and I’ve no idea what manner of turds my dog decides to perfume himself with.
Well, maybe your other senses *do*, indeed, become sharper … Though, really, why anyone would want to pay good money in order for DB to write about his shit-recognition skills is beyond me.
Having a Rottweiler myself, the fucker loves to roll in shit when he’s off the lead.
He rolled in something the other day and with Blunkett have extra senses of smell, because of the loss of one sense, he must have know it was definitely not dog shit.
Maybe badger shit tho’
Fox shit is particularly pungent – smells like no other. The rectal emission equivalent of pure poitin.
Remember the DNA firm Blunky had shares in? Well, it lokks Like it’s about to go bust
Love what you’ve done with the house (see moblog, right)… I see the snowman – but where’s Santa? Or even Jesus?
Re: The DNA company allegedly going bust! Obviously they hadn’t heard that not every company investing in spirals sees the twist in the tail, especially if her name is Kimberly!
Oi, Jarndyce. Knack off.
Nosemonkey: How would you know? Been chasing the buggers in your red jacket again?