You ain’t from around here, are ya boy?
If I can be ooh-look-at-me-aren’t-I-the-one for a minute, I once had the opportunity of swimming with wild dolphins off the southern coast of Australia. They didn’t come very close and were gone in a flash but the memory of it is vivid - I can still see them in my mind’s eye - which you can’t say about many experiences in a lifetime.
Before we went into the water, we were told that the dolphins were particularly intrigued by children and, because of the dolphins’ keen senses (sonar and whatnot), pregnant women. I remember reading somewhere that an adult dolphin has the intelligence of a seven year old child. Truly amazing creatures. And that’s from a bloke who’ll eat anything. Rare.
So, when a lone bottlenosed dolphin (christened Marra, the local dialect for “mate”) turned up in Maryport harbour in Cumbria you’d expect there to be more than a little excitement. (Trust me, my parents are from Workington, just up the road from there and having visited the town all my life I know you take your kicks where you find them). And so there was, from most. But not all:
BBC News: Dolphin watchers given warnings
The Maritime and Coastguard Agency has teamed up with the RSPCA’s maritime division to put posters up around the area urging people to think of the dolphin’s welfare and warning them to take care.
Agency deputy station officer Elizabeth Dicken said items like pork pies, cans of lager and footballs had been thrown into the water.
And it was reported on PM on Radio 4 tonight that the authorities were investigating sightings of a man with an air rifle.
Now, I don’t want to do the place down - I do have some fondness for the place and the people, after all - but imagine being so fucked in the head that at hearing there’s an amazing, life-affirming sight not too far away, your first thought is: “Fetch my bloody gun!” or “There you go Flipper, have a can of Wifebeater”. What we need’s an Action Plan.
It makes you wonder if any of Marra’s *ahem* marras managed to see a copy of the Independent yesterday (you know, washed out of a storm drain or summat) and are counting the days.
Posted on January 18th, 2006 at 6:23 pm
My old landlord in Oxford was from Cumbria. As he remarked of Maryport: “if you think Didcot’s the armpit of the universe…”
Made me wonder if the poor sod was lost; without his/her marras.
Then i was thinking that they probably have a fair clue where they’re going, since they live in the sea. So what could have led to this?
Perhaps s/he was given an ACBO [that'd be Cetacean] and sent to Maryport as punishment for being a pain in the fin.
Reminds me of the dolphin that took up residence in Dingle Bay on the west coast of Ireland. The local people were, on this occasion, a little more savvy than the Maryport locals and have milked the animal’s presence for every tourist-euro available.
It provides a counter-example to my own views about such exploitation. Even just 30 years ago the arrival of a dolphin in a bay filled with fishing villages would have met a hostile reception from the local people as being a perceived competitor. Almost certainly, if it showed signs of wanting to hang around it would be killed or driven off.
These days it’s far more valuable as a tourist attraction, however.
Jesus, West Cumbria..there’s a *reason* we put the reprocessing plant there…
Apparently St Bees is very nice.
And there is rugby league, so it can’t all be bad.
You don’t have to go very far inland before it gets very nice - it’s on the doorstep of the Lake District after all.
Hey Jim, is that the dolphin that Julian Cope swims with in the “Beautiful Love” video?
Indeed it is Justin. “Funghi” the dolphin.
don’t you know that the mice are more intelligent?
They may be brutal towards dolphins on the west coast, but when we had one in Amble someone tried to shag it.
The unfortunate beast was washed up later with propellor marks and it was widely believed it had been hit by a police launch, although the coppers maintained it had swum down the station steps.
This just in [i am actually sorry about that, but in this context, i'll hope to be forgiven]:
Most Bizarre Fiction Strangly Truthful
7. Chicken Yoghurt never said ‘Play it again, Sam’!
The Mechanical Contrivium: Chicken Yoghurt
Indeed: it was lenin
Amongst other topics i’d urge you to investigate there are:
George W Bush
Michelle Malkin
my cock
ongoing nonsense
Ha. Tony Blair’s Respect Action Plan can smell some things up to six miles away!
Jim, excellent. I had that tune in my head all day after it had occurred to me. It’s one of the better ones to have lodged there from what I usually have - the theme from the Rubberdubbers or whatever other CBeebies dayglo monstrosity I’ve been forced to watch in the last ten minutes.
AS a true scumbrian I swell with pride, people on the cumbrian coast have long known that if some sort of fish mammal hybrid looks like its about to come on land you kill the git. Living this close to a reprosessor we tend to treat Dr Who as prophecy