Shifty. Obfuscating. Misdirecting. After years of these kind of comtemptuous insults, if a cabinet minister in this government were to tell you that it was raining, you’d feel compelled to stick your head out of a window to corroborate his statement. If you were to ask Jack Straw if he fancied a cup of tea and a nice biscuit, he’d say:

May I just say this, with regard to the cup of tea and the nice biscuit currently on the table, and this is an important point which I think is worth making…

So how best to tease information from a government minister who doesn’t want to give it? (Taking for granted, as the decent types we are, that we can’t hold him without trial, waterboard him, or insert a broken bottle into his downstairs.)

Should we make a frontal assault like a Paxman or a Humphrys? Try the firm civility of a Jonathan Dimbleby? How about lulling them into a true sense of security a la Radio 4’s Carolyn Quinn?

On the PM programme last night, Quinn interviewed Lord (actually Baron) Adonis, Parliamentary Under Secretary of State in the Department for Education and Skills, after his ministerial colleague Ruth Kelly’s performance at the despatch box on the matter of Britain’s schools being riddled with fiddlers (any red-top sub-editor passing through here can have that one, gratis). One of Quinn’s questions was:

The Prime Minister heard this statement and we’re told he thought it was “excellent”. Did you?*

Put yourself in Quinn’s position for a moment, a prominent broadcaster with enviable access to the greatest and the goodest of The Greater Good, years of experience, given the opportunity to ask to the most searching of questions and get to the bottom of one of the biggest stories of recent weeks, to put our betters on the spot, live on national radio. What would you expect Adonis’ answer to be?

a) “It was an excellent statement.”
b) “Dunno. S’pose.”
c) “Come on! Did you hear it? She boiled down a complex issue to a one size fits all collective punishment solution in order to appease tomorrow’s headlines.”**
d) Other

If you answered b), c) or d) you should apply for Quinn’s job immediately.

Did she run through this interview with her editor beforehand? Maybe “what other nice things is the Government going to do for us?” was deemed a little too challenging.

Carolyn! You’ve lost the news! What are you going to say?

* Her opening gambit in this tense game of verbal chess was: “Lord Adonis, are you happy that, with this statement, Ruth Kelly has done enough to calm the concerns of parents, teachers and other people out there who really have been confused about what’s going on?” Let’s just say his answer wasn’t “No. Quite honestly, she’s fucked.”

** I know. But I’ve being doing some reading and also decided to use my “I Agree With David Aaronovitch” voucher for this year.