“Having testicles is like being chained to the village idiot. Sad, but there it is. And when we have solved every racial, political and economic problem, we will still be stuck with that one.”

I don’t think the problem is “homophobia”. If the rumoured act had involved females he’d still have been in deep trouble.

What I had against him were his idiotic political views – if he was on the right re law and order then God knows what the left is like.

I did find the story amusing though – despite reminding myself about how his wife, kids and self must be feeling now.

My gloating but witty and, perhaps surprisingly for me, non profane, reply was deleted! The full story’s on DLA: Guido Fawkes is a spineless shitbag; should anyone object to driving his hit counter further up his raison d’etre.

DK

Guido Fawkes, as well as a star denying arseologist, you are also simply an arse.

I did like “drum”! As you suggest, i’ll be off to cane Guido’s momentarily. Far from the salt, i’m afraid: the scum, more likely to be levelled at me and believed, even by myself at times. I think it’s plain that i do care about prejudice, if by nothing else than my prior objection to your bald statement that what Oaten did was “wrong”, but in this particular instance it seems a bit like a case of

“Live by the sword, die by the sword.”

Now I think, if I wanted to hear a couple of drunkards making stupid jokes about homosexuality (which, funnily enough, I don’t), I’d hang with the 12-year-olds outside Spar.

Oh, and another thing I remember Guido saying in the Five Live interview was that he was finding it extremely difficult to come up with enough funny material. A couple of weeks later, and that’s all-too-evident to the rest of us.

Well that’s just bloody marvellous, isn’t it? You know, I don’t write Chicken Yoghurt to be loved (although that would be nice) and I don’t write Chicken Yoghurt to be agreed with (although that’s nice as well).

But what I do write Chicken Yoghurt for is to be FUCKING UNDERSTOOD. Please edjog, will you explain to me how after reading the however many hundreds of words I have clearly wasted my time writing on this subject today you reached the conclusion that I in any way want to be looking at Mark Oaten’s arse rather than the stars? After my pathetic bleeding heart pleas for Oaten and his family to be left alone? My post-Catholic disgust at the salacious details that his children have may been exposed to? My naive calls for his colleagues to show him some compassion?

The comment you so wittily posit means I see an arse when I shave was made after Guido Fawkes said he blogged in the “gutter”. IT IS GUIDO FAWKES WHO IS LOOKING AT OATEN’S ARSE. IT IS GUIDO, I PROPOSE, WHO IS “DENYING THE STARS EXIST”.

Please, tell me, is there anybody else out there who got this far ( you have my thanks and sympathy) who thinks I have a prurient interest in Mark Oaten? Please, if my writing really is that opaque than tell me and I’ll pack it all in right now and go and write baffling jokes for Michael Barrymore. That way I’ll be performing a public service in consigning us both to oblivion.

And why can’t you go and speculate on Oaten’s sexuality on somebody’s else’s drum, Guido’s for instance? Or was I again not clear enough in my opinion that it was nobody else’s business but his and his wife’s? I don’t care if he’s gay, straight, bi or got 16 dicks. It’s none of anybody else’s business.

I liked this as well: i couldn’t care less if Oaten is hounded by prejudice. You’ve got a real big heart, haven’t you? The brotherhood of man really was just a band to you despite your salt of the earth self-stylings. Do you really think that any prejudice against Oaten exists in a vacuum or we have a more discerning breed of homophobe these days?

How do we know anything about the sexual politics of Oaten’s marriage? We don’t. Just because he was fucking some lad doesn’t mean that his wife didn’t know. In this climate of over willingness to pounce on anything which might be seen as even slightly ‘not normal’ and desparage it, she’d hardly have admitted it, would she? For all we know, she might have liked to watch and have a startling wardrobe and accessories… After all, she is a fucking adult!

What’s all this about gay? What do we know about his sexual preferences? It’s perfectly possible to play for both teams you know. Ah, but that’s even more unnacceptible and weird, eh? It’s not one thing or the other, it doesn’t fit conventional morality. No, he must be a red-blooded englishman shagging women, in which case he’s one of the lads, or a nasty little batty boy and we can hate him for it.

Still, after the coating Kennedy got, i couldn’t care less if Oaten is hounded by prejudice. You know what though:

“Ah Guido, we are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at Mark Oaten’s arse.”

That’s pathetic. You might well be looking at Mark Oaten’s arse, but i’d suggest you are also denying that the stars exist. Then again, if arse is what you’re seeing, you could equally well be looking in a mirror.

Seven readers? Like Nosemonkey and Tim Ireland? They all have seven readers?

I think they’d protest at that remark.