It remains to be seen whether he can develop substance alongside style…

That’s Alan Milburn, taking a break from hurling rocks from his conservatory, writing about David Cameron in the Observer on Sunday.

…Or whether the Tories are so hungry for power they will digest an unpalatable diet of policy U-turns.

Don’t mention the (Clause) Four. Milburn is spectacularly lacking in self-awareness, principle, shame and, it would seem, long term memory. That’s how he can say what he does and why he can be safely ignored, except for the purposes of sport, as the political equivalent of John Mills’ character in Ryan’s Daughter.

You have to feel a little sorry for Tony Blair though, since Cameron’s arrival. The new Tory leader sheds his principles like, well, a power-starved politician shedding his principles, and sets about systematically alienating his party while u-turning on a sixpence, and the media are all like, “wow, look at him go!”, forgetting that Blair did it all before 12 years ago.

Tony must feel like the older sibling of a toddler. Sure, Tony can walk and talk but the little fella’s so much cuter, just finding his feet and saying the funniest things. It makes you wonder if all the fussin’ and a’feudin’ over the education reform bill isn’t Tony making some kind of jealous cry for attention.

“Look at me everybody”, he trills as everyone coos over the antics of the youngster, “I can still piss off the activists and tear up what little of my party’s heritage hasn’t been incinerated by my blowtorch vanity”. But those who do pay him any attention just tell him to stop being so silly. Maybe one or two people looking at Cameron say, “aw, remember when Tony used to do that, wasn’t he cute?”

But Tony’s not cute any more. Talking like a baby isn’t that endearing when you’re not a baby. People expect a little maturity and get cross when you don’t show it. David on the other hand can say he wants to be like Tony when he grows up and everybody laughs encouragingly as he shuffles round in his big brother’s boots. Just as we did when Tony tottered around in his mum’s high heels back in 1994. When he does that now people just thinks it’s creepy, like Norman Bates in his mother’s dress.