I read somewhere that the reason the Roman Empire fell was because of its plumbing. Lead pipes. By the time the barbarians arrived at the gates, the Romans were so tonto after drinking lead-poisoned water for generations that they were a pushover.

So what to make of this? (via Tim):

Craig Murray: I thought I had heard it all

Sir Gus O’Whitewash has ruled. Teresa Jowell [sic] did not break the rules because for four years David Mills did not tell her he had received what he then believed was a gift of $600,000.

How nice it must be to be so fabulously wealthy that a gift of $600,000 is so unimportant to you that you do not even bother to mention it to your partner!

It’s just as well New Labour aren’t so blase about party donations or the Labour benches in the House of Lords would be empty. Still, at least Tessa isn’t alone. She’s a member of a very select support group all with their own stories to tell.

I see we have a few of them here this afternoon. Let’s begin with you Tony.

Hi, my name’s Tony (Hi, Tony!) Remember the Cheriegate scandal when my wife spent half a million quid of two flats in Bristol? I knew nothing about it.

Thanks, Tony. What about you, Jack?

Hello, I’m Jack (Hi, Jack!) I couldn’t remember why I wrote “Zola Budd” on a memo to my private secretary when enquiring about a passport for one of the Hinduja brothers.

That’s ok, Jack, you let it all out. Stephen, I see you have your hand in the air.

I’m Stephen (Hi, Stephen!) I misled Parliament over Railtrack being taken into administration but can’t “remember the motives behind it“.

Very good, Stephen. You’ve taken your first steps. David, how about you? Go on, you’re among friends.

Hello, I’m David (Hi, David!) My famously prodigious memory failed me when it came to the matter of whether I’d passed on a letter attempting to obtain a visa for my lover’s nanny.

That’s great, David. In all your cases, ignorance is a defence. Yours and that of the public.

(I’m recycling here but what the hell, some things never go out of fashion with this government.)

When the Hammond report was published in March 2001, it exonerated everybody involved in the Hinduja passport debacle, including Peter Mandelson who had resigned over the affair (he couldn’t remember making the incriminating phone call). The report, the Observer said, “revealed the way government works; the favours, personal notes and telephone calls that oil the wheels of power” and showed how “those outside get access to those with the ability to guide events … [b]y having money and through that, influence,”. A “Downing Street source” said: “It is an irritant… We just have to wait and see now if it goes away.”

And thus it ever was. By the end of March 2001 foot and mouth was in full swing and the public got bored of watching one bunch of pigs, with their snouts in the trough, dodging the bullet, and turned to watch another bunch who weren’t so agile. Bird flu, anybody?

There remains only one question. Who’s drinking the lead-poisoned water here, the government or the yahoos who continually vote for them?