Paedogeddon Redux
I know I’m going on about this a bit but it provides a rich seam and demonstrates, once again, New Labour at it’s headline-chasing, flapping, desperate to please worst/best.
After John Reid was quoted at length in yesterday’s News of The World, promising to open a second front on noncery, I scoured the Home Office website for the official announcement of the measures trumpeted in Britain biggest selling tool of the counter-Enlightenment…
- BANNED paedophile inmates from ELEVEN government hostels (pictured on this page) near to classrooms and nurseries,
- SHUNTED 60 child abusers out to less risky locations away from vulnerable youngsters,
- ANNOUNCED he is urgently sending a top minister to America to learn how their version of Sarah’s Law works,
- VOWED parents will be entitled to much more information about dangerous paedophiles in their area, and
- ACCEPTED a list be published pinpointing ALL bail hostels in Britain where paedophiles can still be placed.
…but no official announcement is to be found.
Now it’s quite possible that the decision to move child abusers from hostels near to schools to, I don’t know, hostels on isolated islands where they can’t possible ever get close to children ever, ever again, has been in the planning for some months now and not just frantically scratched out on Friday afternoon by John Reid’s civil servant and special advisers, shit-scared for their jobs. If so, where’s the official announcement of the policy? The statement before Parliament?
Ministers could, once and for all, show that they’re acting decisively in the public interest, not doling out fag-packet kite-flying to a dwindling number of credulous members of the public or abasing themselves before tabloid editors. But, bless the playful pranksters, instead of shattering the perception of them being cynical, mainpulative whores, they’ve decided to keep us guessing. This from this morning’s Downing Street press briefing:
Asked when were Ministers made aware that some paedophiles lived near schools, and when was the Prime Minister told, the PMOS said that he was not going to get into processology. The important point was that the Home Secretary had made his announcement, and we were now doing something about it.
Now, I don’t know about you, but if this wasn’t a sweaty throw ‘em a bone, survive another week, let them think we’re in control gambit, surely the Prime Minister’s Official Spokesman (PMOS) would have said something like, “We’ve known about it for some time but it’s taken until now to formalise the process.” And that would have been that. Instead, we get some contemptible and contemptuous crap about “processology” which, you’ll be amazed to hear, IS A MADE UP WORD. Try it the next time the bank manager asks why you’re massively overdrawn: “Well, you see, it’s all down to the ithinkyouareadickheadology.” I bet he won’t nod sleepily and let it slide like the lazy, frightened-for-their-prestige and compliant journalists present at the briefing must have done.
No, ministers would rather leave the impression hanging that either:
Yes, we have been aware that some paedophiles lived near schools for some time now but didn’t care enough to do anything about it until the News of The World came knocking on Friday afternoon and threatened to lose us some more votes.
…or…
Yes, we have been aware that some paedophiles lived near schools for some time now but didn’t consider it a big enough danger to public safety to do anything but the News of The World came knocking on Friday afternoon and threatened to lose us some more votes.
…or…
No, we haven’t been aware that some paedophiles lived near schools and were only made aware of it when the News of The World came knocking on Friday afternoon and threatened to lose us some more votes.
To be continued (over and over again)…
Update: Tim Ireland rounds up.
Posted on June 19th, 2006 at 8:34 pm
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Nose. Finger. Points.
John Reid is a gutless thug…
The Friday Thing – Paedomania, And Other Distractions: On the steps of the court, megaphone in hand stands John Reid. ‘What do we want?’ he shouts. ‘Longer sentences to placate over-inflated public fears!’ roars the crowd. ‘When do we want……
Rubbish – government policy is not media-led. So there.
‘processology’ goes back to the glory days of Alistair Campbell, though the inventor was apparently Godric Smith (see this article):
As the assembled journalists gather breath, Smith runs through the Prime Minister’s day before laying himself open for questions. His replies are a mixture of polite obfuscation – this is the man who invented the word “processology” as in “I’m not going to get into the processology of the euro announcement” – and wry observations, usually at the expense of the media, his favourite chew toy.
In other words, it doesn’t matter how the decision was arrived at, as long it’s a decision. And taking decisions (however stupid) proves what a caring, sharing government we have.
It’s pretty obviously just another bit of “kite-flying” aimed at manipulating tabloid headlines. The bit about sending a minister to America is the give-away, as there’s no need to actually do that in order to study how “Megan’s Law” works in practice. A ministerial visit would inevitably be a very short one, so he/she wouldn’t learn anything that wasn’t already known to experts in the UK, or indeed to experts in the civil service. But it makes it look as if the government is taking action, when it’s really just kicking the issue into the long grass.