Vote Blears
Philosophers, anthopologists and linguists, not to mention students of comedy and pathos (and probably bathos), should be on their knees thanking their respective gods that Labour Party chair Hazel Blears, old Blind Acceptance herself, has decided to run for deputy party leader.
God knows the other candidates aren’t exactly intellectual power stations spewing thoughtful ideas into the atmosphere. But even witless weathervanes like Peter Hain (witness Hain bleating at Rory Bremner - with all the self-awareness of a one-year, with his hands full of his own faeces, pleading with mummy to clean him up - that the impressionist was ’spreading cynicism and embitterment’) promise, if they can find a scrap of courage, to give Blears a trouncing. It’s going to be like watching a donkey run the Derby.
I once lived in student digs that were so damp fungus would grow on the walls. One time, a mushroom grew in almost the same shape, colour and size as a human ear. The ‘appearance’ of Blears in the Labour hierarchy is analogous. She’s the latest manifestation of an amoral, unfeeling, monolithic and impersonal system straining to put a human aspect to its machinations.
The government’s maintenance of power is all at this stage in the electoral cycle and the nebulous concept that always was New Labour in its purest form has achieved self-awareness and is putting Blears forward as its avatar with which to endear itself to the public. She’s the embodiment of the quintessential New Labour traits - the perfect distillation, in fact - the nutrition-free oratory, the ability to hold two contradicting thoughts simultaneously, the blind eye to reality and suffering, the exhortations to ‘progress’.
(’Progress to where exactly?’, we should be asking, if not demanding. As in Battlestar Galactica, sure we’re moving, but to an unknown and unknowable destination, and on a damn sight less than a wing and a prayer.)
I’m sure it wouldn’t take long to construct an argument that - philosophically and politically - Blears isn’t human. She’s The Word made flesh. Tony’s not going to be permitted into the Promised Land, but maybe Hazel will.
The nihilists amongst us should hope for her victory (it’s notable that the ‘cream’ of the Tory blogging establishment are rubbing their hands with glee). Democracy is broken in this country. We need a dangerous, destructive Terminator like Blears to help tear it down - smiling as she machine-guns the rubble with her platitudes - so that we can start from scratch. The trick would be not to become collateral damage in the mean time.
Posted on February 27th, 2007 at 10:05 am
| See also • Nearly time to buy that ticket to New Zealand? • Hazel Blears must be stopped • Obsolete: From the sublime to the ridiculous |
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Good to see you back and with all guns blazing. Was it really only six days?
Ta, Mike.
It’s a bit like giving up smoking, I reckon. I don’t think one ever truly packs it in - it’s all about stretching the time between fags as long as you can.
so that we can start from scratch.
If you’re advocating a return to the status quo before the 1832 Reform Act, I think you should point out where we can politicians of the capacity of Fox or Pitt to make it work. Otherwise I’ve got to say this wouldn’t do.
What Mike said - great to have you back.
As to Hazel Blears, I can remember when she greeted howls of outrage from comedians over government plans to outlaw Father Ted et al with their “religious hatred” legislation as a load of “wordsmiths” getting over-sensitive, leading Andy Hamilton to christen her a “bollocks-smith”.
For myself I can only believe that she manages to retain the cold-eyed gaze on her immobile, perma-smiling face with the assistance of nictitating membranes and her status as a poikilotherm.
Of course, Blears’ entry deprives Harriet Harman of the ‘Vote for Me! I’ve Got Tits!’ USP…unless Blears really is an android.
Looks like I was wrong:
But how would she differ from John Prescott? “Well,†she said, giggling. “I’m small and I’m a woman which will be very different indeed!†Plus, she chirped, she had energy.
The sound you hear is Harman screaming: ‘That’s my line, you theivin’ bitch!’ as she flies at Blears, nails set to rend flesh (after which we can bring on the mudpool and laugh).
I’ve got a sneaking regard for Harriet Harman. Anyone described as ‘fucking hopeless‘ by the mutton-headed Alan Milburn must have something about her.
Oh my, that’s original. Characterise the competition between two women as a cat fight and fantasise over mud wresling. Oh so funny.
HAHAHAA
I’ve also posted on this and glad to see that this thing is ballooning. Chippie Power! Yo!
I wouldn’t expect anything from philosophers. Also, I wouldn’t tell philosophers what they should do. It’s philosophers that tell the rest of us what we “should” do.
How dare you suggest that any fungus in existence is as amoral, unfeeling, monolithic and impersonal as a New Labour minister?
If you are advocating a return to the pre-1832 setup, that might not be a bad idea, as women were able to vote. It was the “reform” act that disenfranchised them.
If you set the property qualification as it was in 1831, without adjusting for inflation, that would be OK.
The climb back for women started with the Married Women’s Property Acts of 1870 & 1882 ….
Katherine - my point is that Harman has characterised her deputy leadership bid precisely on the basis that she is Not A Bloke in a Suit and that because Brown is/was a shoo-in for the leadership, the ticket ought to be balanced by a woman. (Then again, I can’t see why Chris Bryant couldn’t run on the grounds that he’s gay and Brown isn’t.) There’s nothing in the party’s rules that require this, nor has Harman set out her position more in terms of policy rather than her gender. This only works if she is the only woman in the race. Now Blears is trying the same argument, which inevitably invites the comparison, even if I’ve done so satirically. (I wouldn’t be surprised, by contrast, if they were both invited on Woman’s Hour.) I’m all in favour of a feminist critique of party policy, but not with either female candidate thinking they can use their gender as a substitute for a coherent agenda, as if Not Being a Fat Northern Male Called Prescott was qualification enough for the deputy leadership.
Brilliant and richly deserved rubbishing of the New Labour garbage called Blears.The ginger dalek last seen on a picket line pretending to support demonstrators in her constituency protesting closure of a local hcspital is putting herself up for leadership of New Labour !
How right you are when you say that should her candidacy be successful then it would be the watershed signal we all need to at last tear up the whole damn shebang that is postmodern spun-democracy and start again.
What are the ginger dalek’s thoughts on the current state of humanity,Britishness,Northerness,black pudding,international terrorism ? Paxman put the question 14 times all Blears could say was :”Exterminate,exterminate,exterm……. “