Whiter than pearly whites: Gordon grins and bears it
It was reported on Wednesday that Gordon Brown had root canal work done without anaesthetic last week so he could give a speech afterwards - about citizenship training for immigrants - without a frozen mouth.
Keen a few months ago to parade his emotional pain over his baby daughter’s death in his bid for popularity, Gordon’s now keen to show us how much physical pain he’s willing to endure in order to make us like him.
‘Mr Brown did not flinch or grimace at any stage,’ said Mervyn Druian, the cosmetic dentist who did the drilling and who, according to his website, can help you create ‘your perfect smile’. No mention if he takes NHS patients though. Doubtless the famously financially prudent Chancellor of the Exchequer got a good deal.
But read that first paragraph again. Brown had the soft tissue of a tooth drilled out without anaesthetic. So he could give a speech about immigrants being ‘required’ to ‘volunteer’ for community service. He’s showed himself to be a hard man on a number of fronts all at the same time. Immigrants? Root canals? Gordon fears not these things.
Be honest, hands up how many of you are now thinking, ‘Wow, what a guy! All that stoicism so he could suggest Johnny Foreigner should wipe arses in care homes for free to prove they love Britain’? (Gordon wants to celebrate the 200th anniversary of the abolition of slavery by reintroducing it.) Why not drape a Terminator in the Union Jack and have done with it?
Now, hands up who is now ever-so slightly terrified at the prospect of a man willing to undergo said drug-free drilling being in charge of the country? You’d be forgiven what wondering might be next. Slamming his knob in a door to demonstrate his opposition to the Euro? Inviting the ‘Dirty Sanchez’ crew to join the Cabinet?
This, coupled with the news that while at Oxford David Cameron was a member of the infamous Bullingdon Gang (sorry, Bullingdon Club - it’s not a gang and you’re not a yob if you’ve got a rich dad) which rampaged through the city, is going to make the next general election an interesting choice. Who do you fancy, Renard from the Bond film ‘Tomorrow Never Dies’ or Alex from ‘A Clockwork Orange’?
(First published in this week’s edition of The Friday Thing.)
Posted on March 9th, 2007 at 4:19 pm
| See also • Reg Keys’ election night speech • Brown by the numbers • The Times: How No 10 spun schools a line |
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Filed under Brown, Off Yoghurt, The Friday Thing, UK politics |
Sounds like my kind of politician; prepaired to go through a little pain, you don’t get too many of them soft shits doing that these days.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like the man by any means due to his politics but still, if he is going to do that…
Then again, we don’t know what other substances he may or may not have taken/used/abused just before his dental procedure.
dont belive a word of it ol gordo is talking out his ass as usual.oh look at me im hard and british
dont forget not scottish no british me …wibble wibble vote for me …..pleeeeease ive waited so long ……ahhhhh comon il cry….
As much as I dislike Mr Brown, please don’t mention the problems he has with his daughter. He only revealed those details because the media would have done anyway. The electorate dislke people who do this sort of thing. Think before you blog.
Hang on a sec. I’ve had root-canal work done and it happens in two stages. First the dentist drills out the inside of your tooth, and sticks some antiseptic stuff in it and sends you away.
You come back a few days later, and he drills everything out of your tooth again and puts the permanent root-filling in.
I didn’t have anaesthetic for the second stage - you don’t need to, because the nerve has already been removed, so it doesn’t hurt (much).
Andrew: I don’t believe that for a second. No less a pair of publicity freaks than the Blairs have gone out of their way to protect their family’s privacy. Brown could have said ‘no comment’ or stated that discussion of his daughter was off-limits. Instead he gave a huge exclusive to Sky News which was splashed all over the place. Regarding grief as an essentially private matter, I dislike people who do this sort of thing.
Please don’t tell me how to blog.
Larry, stage two of his root canal or not, this story was given to The Scum to paint Brown as some kind of alpha-male master of the universe. Why else?
Justin, I quite agree. What I’m suggesting is that as evidence of alpha-maleness it may not amount to much.
I am entranced with this idea and would like to see it extended to other politicians; every time John Reid opens his godamn mouth to have another go at “Hampstead liberals”, it ought to cost him a tooth.
What a moron. Root canal without an anaesthetic. Never heard such rubbish.
I trust that wasn’t directed at me, Obscurity.
Renard’s from The World is Not Enough.
Renard’s from The World is Not Enough.
Oh, bollocks. You know, I checked and double checked and knew it was The World is Not Enough. But by that point the theme to Tomorrow Never Dies was lodged in my head and subconscious fuckwittery obviously did the rest. Damn.
And if I can be Pooter for a minute, Tomorrow Never Dies will always have a special place in my heart.
The night before my first daughter was born I got completely sloshed and ended up with a terrible hangover. My partner’s waters broke in the morning but the hospital sent us home because she wasn’t far enough advanced into her labour.
Tomorrow Never Dies was the film she gritted her teeth through while I was upstairs sleeping off the hangover. Such caddish behaviour has never been forgotten.
Amazing, then, that the two films remain so indistinguishable from one another - and yet, they do.