Beard him in his lair
Nice to see that, despite him being the most wanted person on the planet and living a life on the lam, Osama’s still paying close attention to his personal grooming:
A short excerpt from the 30-minute tape was aired by al-Jazeera TV on Friday evening.
It shows Osama Bin Laden sitting at a table, dressed in a white robe and turban and beige cloak. His beard looks shorter and darker than in the video issued in 2004.
What I want to know is, why? Was it to pick up the chicks? An over-zealous make-up girl, perhaps? I mean, I know the in-between stage can be a pain – I’m not too keen on my salt and pepper looks right now and can’t wait until I’m a lustrous silver fox like my dad.
But Osama was the full badger a few years back. I wish I’d been a fly on the wall the first time he turned up for work with his new look. Did his colleagues nudge each other and whisper that there was something different about Osama but they couldn’t quite put their fingers on what?
Poor Osama. Picture him standing in front of the mirror, sighing and then slowly combing boot polish through his soup strainer. Did the old bastard feel the leaden hand of mortality on his shoulder and decide to rage against the dying of the light? Channel 4 documentary commissioners must be rubbing their hands.
Maybe his people have seen the negative coverage Ming Campbell’s been getting for having the audacity to reach his sixties and they decided it was time for the Grecian 2000. They don’t need the world thinking that al Qaeda’s being led by some old git, do they? We all prefer our murderers and sociopaths to be young and thrusting, don’t we? With a lustre, a just stepped out of the salon look, to their facial hair? I’m sure we can all agree that al Qaeda’s taken on an added touch of glamour this morning.
Posted on September 8th, 2007 at 11:28am under T.W.A.T.
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• 7 Comments |
Yeah, reminds me of the Oscar Wilde line about a widow’s hair going gold with grief.
That comment reminded me of the excellent Family Guy piss take: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCRWtEnn238
Maybe it’s to keep the morale up for the alqaeda terrorists? It’s probably a good idea to look relatively young and powerful.
Al-Qaeda have suddenly woken up to the power of media image and instead of threatening to blow people up they’ve decided to start messing with people’s minds instead. This is a worrying change of tactic because it wreaks of increasing sophistication.
I’m really not sure about that. You do have to wonder how well ‘bin Laden dyes his beard’ plays from a PR perspective. Is anyone queuing up for dhimmification thanks to Osama’s fresh new look?
wreaks of increasing sophistication
reeks
It must be hard playing the new Osama Bin Laden – a bit like stepping into the Tardis after Tom Baker quit. So much to live up to! Personally, I thought Sean Connery was the best Bin Laden.