Indulge me
On this post here, there’s been some small discussion of what might happen to Tony Blair in the afterlife and how he might avoid spending eternity having a special relationship with a red hot poker.
No doubt he’ll find this useful:
Pope Benedict XVI has authorised special indulgences to mark the 150th anniversary of the Virgin Mary’s reputed appearance at Lourdes.
Catholics visiting the site within a year of 8 December will be able to receive an indulgence, which the Church teaches can reduce time in purgatory.
I wonder how many years off your sentence a visit to Lourdes gives you. If Tony visits every day he might only have to spend a couple of hundred million years in Purgatory.
How did Benedict decide to grant indulgences based on visits to Lourdes? Did God appear to him and say, ‘Ben, tell them to get their arses to Lourdes in the next 12 months and I’ll put a little bonus in their heavenly bank accounts’? I’d genuinely like to know how these things work.
As a Catholic (I’d say ex- but I don’t think you ever truly escape) whose religious education had that extra-special Augustinian twist, I’ve always regarded the faith as arbitrary, unjust and, to be frank, made up on the hoof (you can see why it would appeal to Tony Blair).
Take the concept of limbo for instance. It used to be that if a child died before it had its original sin expunged by baptism it couldn’t go to heaven. Instead, it suffered ‘lesser punishments’ in limbo. This injustice was certainly one of the (smaller) nails in the coffin of my Catholicism.
I say ‘it used to be’ that unbaptised babies went to limbo because Benedict XVI effectively abolished the place in April this year. I’d like to know why God told St Augustine one thing and the current pope another. It makes Gus look a bit of a heartless chump really. Whereas Benedict seems to understand the power of public relations in a kiddie-centric world.
Why he hasn’t also declared that ickle puppies have spiritual souls and all go to heaven, God only knows.
Posted on December 19th, 2007 at 11:00 am
I’m goign to speak as one non-attending Catholic to another (no such thing as an ex-Catholic, Catholicism being very similar to your blood group in that you’re born with it and can’t change it) who only avoided indoctrination by the Jesuits only thanks to a socialist father who believed in state education.
The mistake many make is to believe that the Catholic church and the Pope represent the true word of God, rather than an authoritarian corporate entity with a neat line in dogma and spin. Just as New Labour attempts to keep the proles in line through fear of the terrorist, so the Catholic Church uses fear of purgatory and eternal damnation. Indulgences are quite often used to boost attendance figures;
“Hey John Paul, those post Easter Sunday blues are having a bad effect on attendance figures for Divine Mercy Sunday; any thoughts?”
“I know, we’ll announce a Plenary Indulgence. That’ll pack the sinners in and get them filling the collection plate”
Simple really, and a win-win situation for all concerned (except maybe for God who sits there, head in hands wondering just why He bothered sacrificing his only son).
The Church’s revisionist approach to past proclamations is up there with the Ministry of Truth, but whereas the Orwellian organisation physically edited the past, the Vatican simply sticks its fingers in its ears and goes “Gaudete, gaudete, gaudete”. Or claims divine revelation which has shown the error of the Augustinian adherence to Original Sin. The latter being quickly followed by the declaration of yet another Indulgence as the hypocrites file off down to St Peter’s for a pious slate-cleansing session.
It makes Gus look a bit of a heartless chump really
It also makes God look like a dithering twat, which would make a certain amount of sense.
… who were unable to make the journey - would also be able to receive indulgences.
You don’t even need to go to Lourdes.
Do you get them sent through the post?
Not that I’m a catholic or anything and need forgiveness.
sim-o, grease the Pontiff’s palm with sufficient silver, and you can receive your indulgence in the comfort of your own home, courtesy of the power of prayer®™; conversion to Catholicism not necessary (bet that camel’s pretty pissed off by now).
Ah, so God’s a capitalist. That explains a lot.
Last I heard, he was planning on abolishing purgatory, as he reckoned it was just a hypothesis. Rather than an absolute, categorical, objective fact, like God. Obviously.
I love religion.
Just remember, “One man’s religion is another man’s belly laugh.”
Nosemonkey, you need to be careful with your definitions (the Vatican being more slippery than a dodgy lawyer). They’re ditching Limbo (the state of less-than-total-damnation rather than the dance), not Purgatory, as damning unbaptised kiddies does nothing for the caring, sharing image of the Catholic Church. Purgatory stays with all its various horrors, including an absence of toilets (remember, we’re talking damnation without relief here). And it may not be a total denial of Limbo at that (typical Catholic Church, always caveats), as those persons who lived good lives prior to the Light of Our Lord™ still have to be kept somewhere away.
So does anyone actually ever go to hell now? Or only if they are poor?
I have a theory, yet to be disproved, that we are currently in Purgatory right now. As for Katherine’s question, I guess it depends on your belief structure. Of course many poor people turn to the Catholic Church, so in their own eye, those poor sods probably are damned.
[...] December 22, 2007 — RickB As noted elsewhere, he’s converting just in time to obtain a Get Out of Purgatory Free card, so by his new [...]