…so I’ve laid in a crate of import-strength lager and my shortest temper, as is traditional at this time of year. I’ve been out and done the obligatory ’spend money you haven’t got on stuff people don’t need’ so I’ve discharged my responsibility to the economy. Gordon Brown shouldn’t refer to us as voters or tax payers. No, we should be his army of little economic Atlases. All wearing Santa hats if that makes you feel any better.

Anyway, I’m off now to bitch incessantly about how the telly is shit again this year. Happy whatever to you and yours. Back in a bit.

Here’s your pressie:

(Parts 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12.)