Hail and helmet
Well, then. Nearly over for another year. Hope you had/are having a good one. They say Christmas is a time for giving and my liver is giving me gip. In return, I shall shortly be giving it a holiday.
Anyway, Mammon was very good to me this year. A shiny new camera and not one but two tiny remote control helicopters.
One of the highlights must surely be the present from my mother-in-law. One of these babies - a Doctor Who Judoon Captain Sound Effects Helmet.
I’m 37 next birthday but my partner’s mum always pitches her presents at my level of arrested development with frightening accuracy. The remote controlled thises and thats. The Star Wars DVD box set. The enormous model of the Starship Enterprise that also doubled as an FM radio.
While tottering around the house in my helmet issuing quasi-fascistic grunts, I noticed this message stamped on the inside:
‘WARNING! This is a toy. Does not provide protection.’
Which makes you wonder about the kind of person who might consider using the Doctor Who Judoon Captain Sound Effects Helmet as a hard hat and therefore require said warning.
‘You be careful when you’re up on the roof adjusting the television aerial.’
‘It’ll be ok, I’ve got my Doctor Who Judoon Captain Sound Effects Helmet.’
…or…
‘Fancy a spot of pot-holing at the weekend?’
‘Too right, I’ll dig out my Doctor Who Judoon Captain Sound Effects Helmet and I’ll be as safe as houses.’
Surely, the warning message should be left off the helmet, you know, for the good of our species. We could have a whipround and buy one for, well, you know.
Posted on December 31st, 2007 at 11:48 am
| See also • Appropriate movie tie-ins • Nothing new under the sun • A replacement for Trident: can Britain get it up? |
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Filed under Miscellaneous dross, Pooterism |
… tiny remote control helicopters.
They’re quite cool aren’t they? But maddeningly difficult to steer, especially around my father’s house when having to avoid the 83 billion candles that his wife had lit all over the place…
DK
Sounds like you’ve got a very cool mother-in-law.
The most likely target of the warning isn’t the ignorant (and rather bizarre) laboring man, but the mother who might naively assume the helmet was a substitute for her kid’s bike helmet or such.
If you were wandering around wearing the helmet, how did you see the warning on the inside? Has your recent lack of bandwidth caused some sort of orbital rearrangement?