In keeping with all the other bloggers who are fresh out of ideas and looking to boost their visitor stats at a slow time of year, here’s my roundup of the momentous events that made 2007 one of the most fantastic years in human history.

January: Saddam Hussein’s death sentence is commuted to life imprisonment. At a joint press conference George Bush and Tony Blair hail the move. ‘It’s a very real sign that, under the guidance of the coalition of the willing, Iraq has put the medieval horrors of its past behind it,’ says the Prime Minister.

February: Responding to reports that Tony Blair’s political adviser had been arrested in a dawn raid by police investigating cash for honours, a government spokesman says: ‘All people are equal in the eyes of the law. It is only right that, along with asylum seekers, the great and the good should know the fear of the hammering on the door at dawn’.

March: The media completely ignores David Cameron’s new haircut and instead turns its laser-like scrutiny to his policies, leadership abilities and party’s funding arrangements.

April: Prime Minister Tony Blair tells reporters he would be ‘delighted’ if his child wanted to serve in Iraq. His eldest son Euan immediately secures a job as a waiter in Baghdad’s newly opened Spearmint Rhino.

May: Former Tory leader Michael Howard brands former Labour spin doctor Alastair Campbell as a man who ‘did more to lower the tone of our political life, our public life’. ‘It’s a fair cop,’ admits a penitent Campbell who then joins a trappist order and is never heard from again.

June: Tony Blair hands the reigns of power to Gordon Brown and gives himself up to the police. The tender scene of the pair sharing a tearful, lingering embrace on the steps of 10 Downing Street is etched into the hearts of a grateful nation.

July: New Home Secretary Jacqui Smith admits to trying cannabis at university. ‘Yeah, it was quite nice,’ she says. ‘As long as you don’t overdo it where’s the harm?’

August: Britain enjoys the most spectacular summer since 1914.

September: Taking advantage of their new freedoms, two million Iraqis go on holiday.

October: The Iraqi employees of the British army threatened with reprisals by death squads are welcomed with open arms by a grateful Britain. David Miliband and Jacqui Smith serve cakes and tea on the plane over.

November: King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia’s state visit to the UK is cancelled and he is refused entry into the country for the foreseeable future. ‘Get your act together, sunshine,’ is the totality of the government’s statement announcing the move.

December: Richard Littlejohn converts to Islam.