I’m much more of an enthusiastic amateur rather than any kind of expert. My collection is by no means definitive and there are larger ones out there, but I have a small gallery of religious icons.

My collection differs from the more traditional ones in that it features exclusively that school of religious icons that are victims, that are put upon, and that are in need of defence. They’re incredibly fragile and must be handled with the utmost care.

I’m fascinated by the concept of vulnerable omnipotence. I have, amongst others, in my gallery a prophet who doesn’t like to be represented pictorially and a Son of God who, while able to raise himself - 1,975 years ago this Sunday, fact fans - and others from the dead and walk on water, cannot take a joke.

My brother acquired my collection’s latest piece while on his travels in the mysterious North West, and I present it here for you now.

I don’t doubt that theologians and philosophers will ponder this icon’s origin and significance when I ultimately donate it to the nation. It truly is one of my more enigmatic pieces. I consider it often. How does one take God for granted? Are his wonders, mercy and saving grace so abundant that they are now part of the every day?

Does an omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent and omnivorous deity have an ego to bruise, I wonder. How did God express his dissatisfaction to this icon’s maker? Can you feel sympathy for an all-powerful being, emotionally and philosophically? Does a God who could, if he chose, eradicate cancer, war and even death itself on a whim, dwell on the numbers at his weekly fan club meetings?