I’ll tell you who are scum, right? Teachers. Wanting to stop teenagers being killed? Leftist, unpatriotic scum, that’s what they are. They make me want to puke. I tell you, bits of kids going off abroad and losing their lives and limbs, what could me more British than that?

And there was me wondering where the massed ranks of Little England had disappeared to. The Battle of Waterloo was won on the playing-fields of Eton, weren’t it?

But these bastard teachers, passing knowledge onto children to give them better lives and stopping them getting shot, who the hell do they think they are? Isn’t it about time NUT members said ‘enough is enough’ and got rid of this insulting, leftist, unpatriotic nonsense of worrying about their students’ welfare? I tell you, it’s not on. Simple, innit?