Jeremy Clarkson: talking cock
This pool of dribble from Jeremy Clarkson prompts all kinds of questions. Not least amongst them is why is Clarkson seemingly so obsessed with homosexuality and inserting things up anuses? I count three references (‘man love’, ‘Thai lady-boys’, and ‘I’ll stick so many lawyers up their arses’) in this article alone.
Then there’s this, one of the weakest defences of the ‘public interest’ I think I’ve ever seen:
Because if a prime minister can’t keep his pecker in his trousers, then how do we know he can’t keep his fingers off the button that fires the Tridents?
What a load of, if you’ll forgive me, cock.
Posted on August 7th, 2008 at 2:02pm under Culture, media and sport, UK politics
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Having said that, this section…
“Woodward and Bernstein seem to have been replaced by a bunch of desk-bound journos who rewrite press releases from global warming lunatics and run a couple of pap pictures of Madonna buying an ice cream.”
… seems to be pretty darn accurate…
DK
Shades of Littlejohn’s cottaging obsession. Why these men can’t just admit to what’s really going on in their minds is beyond me.
Oh come on. JC’s fixation with anuses is his only redeeming characteristic.
Larry Teabag’s latest blog post… Some kind of foul lasagna
I blame the influence of the anglican church
bbm’s latest blog post… Oxted from another angle
I don’t understand why he is given a wider voice for his offensive opinions and bluster.
Daniel Hoffmann-Gill’s latest blog post… lolcats
“This car is as manly as Laurence Dallaglio’s jockstrap.” This guy is just screaming to come out.
No sense of irony either. The last episode of the last series when he tried to recreate World War II in the series of challenges against his German counterparts. Seemed to overlook the fact that this time, the xenophobic right-wing bigots were British.
At least Clarkson has the guts to stand up for what he believes in, unlike our beloved government.
http://lettersfromatory.wordpress.com
“I don’t understand why he is given a wider voice for his offensive opinions and bluster.”
Because people prefer them to those of infantile, humourless left wingers…?
JuliaM, you may only see the humourless side of ‘lefties’ because people tend to lose their sense of humour when confronted by lying bigots.
/not mentioning any names
Tim Ireland’s latest blog post… A quick collection of Lego-related links
Aw bollocks, she’s found me. There goes the sodding neighbourhood.
Blogging Law #1342: Any comment thread with JuliaM in it tends to the fucking pointless.
“why is Clarkson seemingly so obsessed with homosexuality and inserting things up anuses?”
Because he is Alan Partridge. Either that or he’s taking JG Ballard’s Crash waaaay too seriously.
Sure Clarkson’s a journalist; the same way a trainspotter is a railways correspondent. Much as I enjoy(ed) Top Gear as a sitcom with added supercar porn, Clarkson’s ‘Mr Toad of the People’ routine gets increasingly annoying – though it’s always gratifying (and funnier) when he’s made to look a total twunt.
PS: JuliaM – I don’t think the ‘lefties have no sense of humour’ routine is much of an answer, or makes Clarkson any less the patron saint of bar room philosophers and pub bores.
Paul Staines’ website is full of this, you may have noticed. If anyone speaks out of turn, suddenly it’s all about cocks.
Oral, anal, pissing, you name it.
Tim Ireland’s latest blog post… A quick collection of Lego-related links
Justin: maybe the Partridge-like ladyboy/anal fixation has a different explanation. Look at it this way: what’s the ‘manliest’ thing Clarkson is known for or actually done? It’s not as though being a columnist/car reviewer/TV presenter is on a par with military service. One the one hand, the Top Gear challenges are just TV entertainment – Jackass for petrolheads. On another, Clarkson gives the impression that, say, driving a Lotus Exige while being tracked by a helicopter gunship is really, really well ‘ard and will somehow stick it to those quiche-eating Guardian readers who believe in a mores sensible/eco-friendly way to get from A to B. It’s like all the US neocons who didn’t serve in Vietnam yet they know more about war, bravery and sheer ballsy manliness than those who did.
Sorry to harp on about this but I think we have to go to the King of Chat for evidence.
This is just another sad example of a journo utterly misunderstanding the outcome of this sodding case. Watching the news afterwards, every single lawyer on said something along these lines: “it’s not new, it doesn’t stop investigative journalism, it’s much more complicated than saying you can’t look into people’s sex-lives”.
Every single news reader, journalist and commentator ignored this completely and acted as if it was the end of journalism as we know it. Teir self-obsession was quite a sight to behold.
“JuliaM, you may only see the humourless side of ‘lefties’ because people tend to lose their sense of humour when confronted by lying bigots.”
I don’t tar all ‘lefties’ with the same brush – plenty of humour at ‘Harry’s Place’ and (less often, admittedly) ‘Stumbling and Mumbling’. But then, they are classy and intelligent websites in general.
Now that is funny.
ejh’s latest blog post… But not today the struggle
“plenty of humour at ‘Harry’s Place’”
This is certainly true.
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Unforunately, Clarkson is one of the last male voices of an ever-increasingly feminised media. While I don’t agree 100% with what he says, he has a right to say it and, on the whole, he is rather entertaining, because that’s what he peddles: entertainment. If you analyse his psyche, you’ll realise that Clarkson plays up this persona because it gets him noticed and riles those ultra-PC bigots who only laugh at vanilla-flavoured, previously sanctioned, rubber-stamped, leftie-approved jokes. What I don’t get is that in the eighties the likes of Elton, Mayall, Edmondson etc. made plenty of bottom gags but no-one points the finger at them. Go back and watch The Young Ones and Friday/Saturday Night Live and you’ll realise that most of Clarkson’s shtick is cribbed from those guys and Coogan.
So you don’t like references to bottoms and ladyboys. Get over it. The great thing about humour is that there are no boundaries. Now this is my un-PC joke of the day – feel free to spread it around.
The Beijing 2008 Olympics started today in China, but the only problem with having a Chinese Olympics is that 20 minutes later you want another one…
Is that joke racist or a comment on Chinese food? You decide!
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Two small questions, if I can get you to wrap your mind around them:
(a) how is it a “feminised” media, when most of the editors, owners and journalists are men?
(b) what’s wrong with something being “feminised” anyway (if by that you mean, more female, whatever that means)?
Is that joke racist or a comment on Chinese food? You decide!
I’ll have c) Fucking shit.
If you analyse his psyche
Oooh, get her.
If youy really think Clarkson gets his act off The Young Ones, it may be that bottom jokes are the only ones you’re capable of getting. And that you’re not capable of telling one bottom joke from another.
It may also be that you think that what’s funny is what annoys other people – and annoys them because it’s crass and because they’ve heard it thousands of times before and because it insults them and their intelligence. In short, piss people off by being crass, and then say they lack a sense of humour. One answer to this is that you need to grow up: Clarkson, as it happens, is a very good illustration of a thesis of mine, which is that men with money often don’t grow up.
If your ambitions in humour don’t go beyond being crass and loud in order to get on other people’s nerves, God help you. But if you’re looking for humour that works by upsetting leftists, can I refer you to the late Auberon Waugh? Or the current PJ O’Rourke. They’re not much like Clarkson, either of them. Because they’re intelligent, they’re original, and they don’t think being an arsehole is the mark of an entertainer.
ejh’s latest blog post… But not today the struggle
Unforunately, Clarkson is one of the last male voices of an ever-increasingly feminised media. While I don’t agree 100% with what he says, he has a right to say it and, on the whole, he is rather entertaining, because that’s what he peddles: entertainment. If you analyse his psyche, you’ll realise that Clarkson plays up this persona because it gets him noticed and riles those ultra-PC bigots who only laugh at vanilla-flavoured, previously sanctioned, rubber-stamped, leftie-approved jokes.
I think you’ve just confirmed my suggestion that people like Clarkson because he some kind of Real Man for liking cars, hating Guardian readers and making anal sex jokes in the name of entertainment in heroic defiance of a ‘feminised media’ (you what?) run by PC liberals who are secretly alien reptiles from the planet Zarg…or whatever. Jeez, this is a schtick that gets more tired every day, which is probably why I’m enjoying Top Gear less and less these days. Somewhere along the line Clarkson stopped being a presenter and became some kind of poster boy for the seething classes.
Incidentally, the cocks obsession is quite likely a public school thing. I’m not kidding: a certain sort of ex-public schoolboy acts in a certain way.
ejh’s latest blog post… But not today the struggle
FWIW, I’m more or less with Redpesto. Years ago, Top Gear was a magazine programme that treated the motor industry very seriously. It wasn’t very interesting and the highlights were Clarkson’s rants about mediocre products. After a gap, Top Gear was reborn as a silly programme about three laddish petrol heads, which was/is much more entertaining. The episode where they drove cars painted with “liberal slogans” through the southern states of the USA indicates social awareness and a willingness to poke fun at anyone. Which does not excuse the producers for permitting Clarkson’s “ginger beer” comment.
On many occasions, however, the producers have completely lost the plot when choosing between entertainment and responsibility. The continual diatribes about speed controls on public roads are unnecessary and foolish. Top Gear itself has demonstrated how badly speed can go wrong on a private track. In the last seven days, two motorcyclists have been killed on private circuits. Speed has its place off the public roads, and even in the safest environments people kill themselves. But they rarely kill bystanders.
Given the three presenters, Top Gear can be little more than lads’ entertainment. Clarkson and Hammond may have been in motoring journalism for years, but they actually know stuff all about automotive engineering; Mays does know which sets him up as the butt of all their fabricated jokes. Good entertainment, but if you want to learn about technology, find a place that does not accept car manufacturers’ press releases with so little intellectual consideration. Given the dismal standards of motoring journalism, you’d be hard pressed to find real facts anywhere.
Clarkson’s “professional writing” for the Times is simply what you should expect. He understands little about what he writes (including the car reviews) and resorts to polemicism. And without a substantive argument, discussion about orifices is what polemicists employ.
If Jeremy Clarkson can’t drive a car round a bend without spinning its tyres. how can we possibly trust him not to rape our dead mouths, eh?
your just jealous cos he earns shitloads of money and hates lefties.Check out the viewing figures and it will soon be shown all over the world.
“your just jealous cos he earns shitloads of money and hates lefties.”
I sympathise with Justin, as I too envy Clarkson’s hatred of lefties. If only I could relinquish my affection for – or at least acceptance of – a number of labourites, greens and sectarian socialists then I could be his equal. If only…if only…
BenSix’s latest blog post… Meandering Around…
Don’t forget his mastery of the bumsex gag. That’s what really gets me boiling with envy. Expect this blog to now become a hotbed of sweaty uphill gardening jokes.
Heh, you said “hotbed of sweaty”… oh, nevermind.
john b’s latest blog post… On chain restaurants, and their opponents
The guys a wanker, why else would he be obsessed with penises?
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