The Sunday cheer-up

How’s this for a we’re all going to die tearing each other to pieces over the last hunk of mouldy bread mash-up?

Overlay this:

Over a third of China’s land is being scoured by serious erosion that is putting its crops and water supply a risk, a three-year nationwide survey has found. [...] If the loss continues at this rate, harvests in China’s northeastern breadbasket could fall 40 percent in 50 years, adding to erosion costs estimated at 200 billion yuan ($29 billion) in this decade alone.

With this:

Rich governments and corporations are triggering alarm for the poor as they buy up the rights to millions of hectares of agricultural land in developing countries in an effort to secure their own long-term food supplies.

Is it too early to start drinking?


Posted on November 23rd, 2008 at 10:00am under The coming apocalypse

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9 Comments

9 Comments

  1. Mike on 23.11.2008 at 11:23 Permalink | Reply

    It’s never to fucking early to start drinking.

  2. bozza johnson on 23.11.2008 at 11:49 Permalink | Reply

    I wonder what the “libertarian” reaction will be…

  3. El Gweilo Intrepido (3 comments.) on 23.11.2008 at 12:25 Permalink | Reply

    We’re all irredeemably fucked. We all know it. So why pretend we’re not?

    Even if the inescapable fact that the world’s population will continue to increase and we will go on covering the earth like a virus on a petri dish until we run out of food and water is not enough to make us stop and wonder what exactly we think we’re doing with our time here, the arrival of the inevitable biblical disasters that will come and wipe the slate clean, will, if not make us stop and wonder what we are doing, at least make us stop and wonder what we have done. But by that point, no doubt, we’ll all be too tanked up on Kestrel Super to care.

    We take rational steps to save ourselves from disaster whilst all the while sleepwalking towards the perpetuation of the very disaster we believe we are guarding against. But maybe we all subconsciously realise that all we are essentially doing is preparing our own little shelters for the moment the floods and pestilence hits. So why the worry? How eternally selfless of us all.

    At least the only think left to do when we finally do reach that point is to fuck, drink and ingest as many magic mushrooms as we each can stomach. Maybe then the plagues of locusts and the four horsemen won’t seem so incongruous as we all sit around in our underwear with gin and tonics in our hands, giggling at the absurdity of it all.

    Bring on the dénouement. I welcome it with open arms.

  4. [...] On : Chicken Yoghurt [...]

  5. asquith on 23.11.2008 at 13:09 Permalink | Reply

    “the inescapable fact that the world’s population will continue to increase and we will go on covering the earth like a virus on a petri dish until we run out of food and water”

    How is it “inescapable”? Various countries have enacted successful policies to stop overpopulation. They could be extended across the world. There’s also the fact that fertility falls with prosperity & education. Yes, far more could be done to promote education & contraception in the developed world but if the will could be found, overpopulation & other environmental problems could be resolved.

    Your mistake is to assume that trends will inevitably continue, whereas in fact they can be reversed. It isn’t so long ago that in this country we were worried about an ageing population & fertility going below replacement rate.

    The only way to make sure nothing will ever happen is to sit around doing nothing but talk about how it’s all inevitable & we needn’t bother.

  6. asquith on 23.11.2008 at 13:12 Permalink | Reply

    *education & contraception in the developing world

    Though, a bit over here wouldn’t go amiss too…

  7. CP on 23.11.2008 at 15:03 Permalink | Reply

    Wait until Siberia, post global warming, becomes the bread-basket of China

  8. Laban Tall (35 comments.) on 23.11.2008 at 15:58 Permalink | Reply

    You’ve forgotten that all the bees are dying (IMHO due to mobile phone mast radiation) and that once that happens, it’s biblical famine time when nowt gets pollinated and the crops fail. Whichever country has bees (and crops) left becomes a wasted battlefield as starving nations fight for the food. The remaining bees are wiped out in crossfire and by battlefield radars.

    Of course it’s a moot point whether this precedes or accompanies the wave of intercommunal violence which sweeps south from Yorkshire and Lancashire, leaving tens of thousands cremated in their terrace dwellings and council maisonettes.

    The good news is that this will at least spare the victims from the plague of drug resistant bacteria currently being incubated in those countries where animals are routinely given antibiotic-laced feedstuffs.

  9. chris y on 24.11.2008 at 11:29 Permalink | Reply

    You have no idea what a relief it is to be old.

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