Iain Dale and the Orwell Prize for Blogging: not like a windowpane

A terrible OrdaleJust ignore him, you’re saying. Don’t read his stuff. Leave him, he’s not worth it. And I’d like to take your kind advice, I really would, but as a follower of mainstream UK politics I simply can’t get away from the blighter.

He’s on Channel 4 News with his doughy soundbites. He’s reviewing the papers on News 24 or Sky News. John Pienaar’s podcast. He’s on the Today programme. More4 News. He’s on Five Live ruining a perfectly serviceable Sunday morning. For a million lazy journalists with seemingly just two blogs on their lists, he’s the go-to guy and they quote him endlessly. There is no escape, on radio, on telly, online.

Everywhere you turn there he is doling out another gob of cliche with all the care of a prison kitchen cook slapping down a ladleful of mashed potato on a lag’s tray. I was in the pub with a non-blogging mate the other week and he said that he was sick to the back teeth with the sight and sound of Dale.

Some of you are saying, ah, you’re just jealous of his blog’s readership and the fact he gets to go on the telly and radio all the time. I say, have you seen his readership? Have you spent five minutes in his comments? If my writing attracted some of those mouth-breathers I’d kill myself.

I’ve had offers to go on the radio and on the telly, if you really want to know. I was asked once, if you can believe it, if I wanted to go on Richard and Judy. A BBC4 producer once emailed to ask if her show could come and film me for a documentary. You know what my answer was? It was, in essence, ‘no, are you mental?’ A man has to know his limitations. Being out of my depth once and nothing to contribute, on Dale’s 18 Doughty Street of all places, was enough for me.

Still, in honour of Iain Dale sitting down and choosing and submitting ten of his own blog posts he thought worthy of mention in the same breath as George Orwell, here’s some of my favourites by the great man.

Here’s his toe-curling attempt to bullshit a Shakespeare reference.

Here’s his woeful grasp of cliched put down.

Here’s his use of ignorance as a defence.

Here’s his death camp joke.

And here’s my favourite. Unsure himself about whether he should intrude on the grief of parents who’d just lost their child, he asked his Twitter readership for moral guidance. How Orwellesque is that?

How about the posts he sent in to nominate himself? We have the bad apples, the rearguard actions, the heavy burdens and the rough rides, the chips on shoulders, the sorry states of affairs, the settling dust, the beating about the bush, the unwritten rules, the leopards not changing their spots.

‘What I have most wanted to do… is to make political writing into an art,’ Iain Dale didn’t say.

I mean come on. If he’s even read Politics and the English Language he betrays no sign of having understood it. What does the Orwell Trust do between award seasons, use the original manuscripts as lavatory paper?

(Thanks to Tim for the picture)


Posted on March 28th, 2009 at 12:29pm under Blog, bloggers and blogging, Evil of banality

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79 Comments

79 Comments

  1. D-Notice (38 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 13:01 Permalink | Reply

    The link on “he asked his Twitter readership for moral guidance” doesn’t work.

    Everything else is fine though. ;-)

    1. Justin on 28.03.2009 at 13:10 Permalink | Reply

      Ta. Fixed now.

    2. Chas on 29.03.2009 at 13:39 Permalink | Reply

      You fucking twat.

      1. Justin on 29.03.2009 at 15:38 Permalink | Reply

        Oh, Chas. And you at Cambridge University as well. Mummy and Daddy must be so proud.

  2. Mike Power (47 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 13:10 Permalink | Reply

    I agree with everything you say but I still don’t understand why anything this man does or says should affect whether you or anyone else carries on blogging. I fear that you have made yourself a hostage to fortune. I’ll be mighty pissed off if he wins and the result is that we lose what I consider to be the best blogger in the UK. I’m absolutely certain that I speak for every other reader of Chicken Yoghurt too.

  3. Iain Dale (3 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 13:50 Permalink | Reply

    Well that gave me a good laugh. One of the biggest pleasures of winning this (which, incidentally, I don’t expect to) will be seeing you disappear up your own arse. If you haven’t done so already.

    Oh, and while I’m here. If my writing is so pisspoor, why were you so keen to include me in your 2006 Best of British Blogging book? Some inconsistency there, surely.

    1. Mike Power (47 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 14:07 Permalink | Reply

      It’s perfectly possible to be a pisspoor (sic) writer and produce an interesting blog post, so it is not surprising that you should appear in a book of British blogging. What is surprising is that a piss-poor writer should be nominated for an award named after George Orwell, a man who spent his life railing against, erm…piss-poor writing.

      If you can’t see that distinction you are a bigger fool than I thought you were, and that’s saying something.

    2. AdamB (4 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 14:18 Permalink | Reply

      “One of the biggest pleasures of winning this (which, incidentally, I don’t expect to) will be…”

      HaHaHa. Either you don’t understand basic grammar or you actually think you’re going to win this thing.

    3. Justin on 28.03.2009 at 14:30 Permalink | Reply

      If my writing is so pisspoor, why were you so keen to include me in your 2006 Best of British Blogging book?

      Because your post about homosexuality was in my opinion honest and genuinely moving. It was a hen’s tooth to say the least. If you wrote like that all the time you’d deserve your shortlisting.

      (The other post you asked me to include about West Ham was indeed shit but it was a small one and I wanted to keep you sweet because I liked the other so much.)

  4. merk on 28.03.2009 at 14:08 Permalink | Reply

    Dale lectures on inconsistency, that’s some beautiful irony.

  5. MatGB (12 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 14:23 Permalink | Reply

    I am biased. I helped Alix set her blog up, and she’s become a friend. I also accidentally introduced her to her bloke when I suggested they might want to think about launching a group blog together.

    Ergo, I want her to win. But I also think she’s a damn fine writer and deserves the award anyway. Plus it’ll help her get more work and might possibly give lazy journos a different blogging voice to turn to. One that’s actually worth listening to.

    Oh, wait, the BBC don’t want bloggers who know their stuff, they’d rather trainwrecks like Guido/Dolly and gossipers like Dale.

  6. Pete on 28.03.2009 at 14:29 Permalink | Reply

    You should have written this piece in green ink (you’re jealous as well as being a nutter)…

    1. Justin on 28.03.2009 at 14:32 Permalink | Reply

      Jealous of what?

      1. Tim Ireland (248 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 14:47 Permalink | Reply

        There’s a dim possibility that Pete was being deeply sarcastic, but it’s hard to tell given the devotion of some of Iain’s supporters.

        Meanwhile, look who’s considering doing away with comment registration:
        http://iaindale.blogspot.com/2009/03/parish-notice-should-i-re-allow.html

        It’s almost as if Iain is tooling up for a fight about something, and wishes to once again enjoy the freedom to fight dirty with multiple attackers using multiple personalities.

  7. Iain Dale (3 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 15:01 Permalink | Reply

    Yeah, because that’s the way your mind works, Tim. I am not doing away with comment registration. I am asking my readers for their views. I said I would introduce it as an experiment over a prolonged period. And that’s what I have done. I am minded to continue with the current system, but a review every now and then does no harm. Run along now and continue with your war planning, why don’t you.

    1. Tim Ireland (248 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 15:17 Permalink | Reply

      Oh, hello Iain. So you are talking to me, but you’ve got nothing to say for yourself:
      http://www.bloggerheads.com/archives/2009/03/iain_dale_hates.asp

    2. Tim Ireland (248 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 15:23 Permalink | Reply

      PS…

      Tim – “Meanwhile, look who’s considering doing away with comment registration:”

      Iain – “I am not doing away with comment registration. I am asking my readers for their views.”

      Classic Dale. Right down to the patronising twaddle at the tail.

    3. Sim-O (92 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 19:35 Permalink | Reply

      Iain, this morning: So I am minded to open up the comments again for a trial period, but I thought I’d do a quick poll to see what you all think.

      Iain, 4.5 hours later: I am minded to continue with the current system

      So this morning you were on the side of doing away with comment registration, but wanted your commenters to give you the excuse to, and now you are on the side of not doing away with comment registration.

      So, you are either lying, or you changed your mind. You can change you mind, obviously, but don’t get all uppity when you haven’t told anyone and they take your last word on the subject as your current frame of mind.

      1. Tim Ireland (248 comments.) on 29.03.2009 at 10:11 Permalink | Reply

        I get some satisfaction from Iain’s own readers realising that, yes, life is better without his reindeer games in comments.

  8. Random on 28.03.2009 at 15:09 Permalink | Reply

    Oh dear, there are some people blogging who are seriously hard of thinking. Some even put in links that demonstrate their struggles with reality and the written word! Hope that Iain wins, just to get that slight increase in the average intelligence and wit on the internet you have now promised.

    It is a wonder that someone thinks that his words are worth broadcasting to the world when he doesn’t even know the difference between a death camp and a prisoner-of-war camp, and implies that a mild bit of sarcasm on that theme is out of order, even when it is in response to a political organisation is using a swastika as a symbol.

    You don’t seem to understand that keeping a message confidential means not revealing its contents, it does not just mean not releasing the message itself. Had you released Iain’s email then I could not criticise you. There was no obligation for you to honour his request that you keep it confidential. However you claimed to honour that request while releasing the information anyway. This did not get one over on Iain, who knew you had every right publish the email, it just confirmed that you are unable to understand that rather simple request.

    You link to Bob Piper, sharp as a breeze block, so I presume you have the same trouble as he does in understanding that ad-hominem attacks are logical fallacies, and reflect badly on the writer especially if all they do is demonstrate his inability to understand the target of that attack.

    After reading a few bits on here it really does astonish me to see you call Dale’s commenters “mouth breathers”. Many of them would struggle to think down to your level, and I suspect many of the comments are far too subtle for you.

    1. Tim Ireland (248 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 16:31 Permalink | Reply

      “You don’t seem to understand that keeping a message confidential means not revealing its contents, it does not just mean not releasing the message itself. Had you released Iain’s email then I could not criticise you. There was no obligation for you to honour his request that you keep it confidential. However you claimed to honour that request while releasing the information anyway. This did not get one over on Iain, who knew you had every right publish the email, it just confirmed that you are unable to understand that rather simple request.”

      For those who are wondering what this paragraph is about, I know, and I bet the person who wrote it wishes they were back on Blogger.com where contributors can sometimes delete their own comments, because it reveals far too much:

      This paragraph is not about Justin or his post, but about me.

      a) So this person, for all their cleverness, is clearly confused.

      This paragraph is not about anything I have blogged, but what I have blogged compared to what has been claimed by Iain Dale in a private email (which I had not mentioned publicly at all until about 10 minutes after this comment was made); it speaks of things that someone can only really know about if they have first been privately briefed by Iain (possibly by sharing email(s) that Iain has insisted remain ‘confidential’)

      b) So this person knows Iain Dale quite well, and all signs point to them being privately briefed by Dale before wading in.

      A quick Google check reveals that this is the first comment on this site ever by ‘Random’, which seems odd given how familiar they are with all the players (if a little confused about who they are talking to)

      c) So, I would venture, they are not merely anonymous but instead issuing this judgement of Justin/myself while using a sock-puppet (i.e. an alternative identity).

      It looks to me as if at least one sock-puppeting git wants to fight dirty, even (pfft!) if Iain doesn’t.

      This is why I will only discuss Iain’s (in)actions over the paedo-smear on my own blog.

      When you’re ready, Iain. I’m waiting for you right here:
      http://www.bloggerheads.com/archives/2009/03/iain_dale_hates.asp

      Leave your sock-puppeting thugs out of it, if you think you can.

      [Oh, and 'Random'? On reflection, I don't feel any obligation to keep anything Iain sends me a secret, especially after I caught him accidentally CCing Phil Hendren on a private email conversation instead of BCCing him. (Amusingly, Iain would only admit to doing so if it was 'off the record'... then Hendren went and blurted it anyway.) I did things the way I did mainly because I want to give Iain the opportunity to try the pissweak excuse he gave me in private, in public. It's bloody hilarious, and a classic of the genre.... as you probably already know.]

      1. Justin on 28.03.2009 at 16:37 Permalink | Reply

        This paragraph is not about Justin or his post, but about me.

        Classic. I wondered what the hell ‘Random’ was on about. Random by name…

    2. Mike Power (47 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 17:53 Permalink | Reply

      ad-hominem attacks are logical fallacies

      Bollocks. No they’re not! You’re talking shite!

      1. Tim Ireland (248 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 18:03 Permalink | Reply

        Another clue to who this really is.

        :o )

    3. tom p on 30.03.2009 at 12:08 Permalink | Reply

      Random, you wrote

      It is a wonder that someone thinks that his words are worth broadcasting to the world when he doesn’t even know the difference between a death camp and a prisoner-of-war camp

      Um, which prisoners of war were kept in Auschwitz?
      The phrase Dale was appropriating was “Arbeit Macht Frei”, which was the most graphic example of the Nazi party’s Ironic and cruel humour, since it was writ in ironwork over the gates of Auschwitz.
      That post of his could have been a moderately amusing pointing out of the vacuities of graphic design(ers) and the amount of money wasted on it, given that they didn’t notice that the way the arrows covered the blue square made it look like a blue swastika, but instead his usage of that line and the way he wrote it made it into a rather crass post.

  9. Nosemonkey (92 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 15:20 Permalink | Reply

    *adopts Michael Winner voice”

    Calm down, dears – it’s surely obvious that the only reason Dale was included on the shortlist was because they reckoned having a high-traffic blogger with a talent for self-promotion would increase awareness of and interest in the awards, just as the only reason they’ve bothered having a separate blog category in the first place is to a) try and seem down with the kids and b) boost their Google ranking via all the inbound links it’s generating.

    After all, if any blogger is genuinely churning out Orwell Prize-worthy prose on a regular basis (Alix Mortimer and SepticIsle spring to mind), why not include them in the main journalism category? It’s not unheard of for “proper” journalism prizes to include mere bloggers… (*ahem*)

    In short: It’s all a gimmick designed to generate publicity and linkage – just as with ALL blog awards. I say meh…

    1. Nosemonkey (92 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 15:26 Permalink | Reply

      Although at the same time, this little episode has exposed me to Dale’s fanatically loyal readership for the first time. Makes me very glad I’m no longer blogging about UK politics… I thought the eurosceptics I have to deal with are bad – but at least they all have good intentions at heart. Dale’s lot seem nothing short of unthinking, self-righteous drones with only two settings: sycophantic agreement or mouth-foaming rage. Are we sure they aren’t a complex satire? His winning could be most appropriate…

  10. JuliaM (23 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 15:49 Permalink | Reply

    “One of the biggest pleasures of winning this … will be seeing you disappear up your own arse.”

    Impossible! He’d first have to remove Tim Ireland from up there….

    1. Justin on 28.03.2009 at 15:52 Permalink | Reply

      And he’s very tender and considerate while he’s about it.

    2. Sim-O (92 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 19:46 Permalink | Reply

      JuliaM, c’mon keep to Iains’ script, Justin is up Tims’ arse.

  11. The Dog on 28.03.2009 at 15:51 Permalink | Reply

    Funny to see Dale’s pals calling you a Labour apologist. They didn’t deign to read your blog before they expressed themselves, eh?

    1. Justin on 28.03.2009 at 15:54 Permalink | Reply

      You mean they can read?

  12. Mike Power (47 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 16:51 Permalink | Reply

    “One of the biggest pleasures of winning this … will be seeing you disappear up your own arse.”

    Impossible! He’d first have to remove Tim Ireland from up there….

    Pay attention dear! Quite clearly Dale believes that it is Justin who is up Tim’s arse not the other way around, thereby deflating your rather feeble attempt at ‘humour’, arf, arf!

  13. JuliaM (23 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 16:58 Permalink | Reply

    Who cares what Iain Dale believes?

    As far as I’m concerned, there’s little difference between them. One tends to follow the other, sure as night folows day, and vice versa.

    1. Tim Ireland (248 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 17:19 Permalink | Reply

      Nice recovery, JuliaM. Only you included Iain’s comment as the set-up for your clever joke, showing that you do care what he thinks, and that you were talking specifically about his position* when you fell flat on your face:

      “One of the biggest pleasures of winning this … will be seeing you disappear up your own arse.”

      Impossible! He’d first have to remove Tim Ireland from up there…

      Sorry to have to call you on that**.

      But, for your peace of mind, we do switch places on alternate Thursdays.

      (*call Matron)
      (**this sentence may lack sincerity)

  14. Larry Teabag (94 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 17:16 Permalink | Reply

    Don’t take this the wrong way, but if I had a choice of making my home up Tim’s arse, or sharing living quarters with JuliaM in David Duff’s rectum, Tim’s butt-hole would begin to look rather appealing.

  15. JuliaM (23 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 17:25 Permalink | Reply

    “…showing that you do care what he thinks, and that you were talking specifically about his position…”

    No, merely howing that he made a comment I could usefully build on. That’s all.

    Or are you the type to see plots and conspiracies in everyth

    Oh. Right…

    1. Justin on 28.03.2009 at 17:30 Permalink | Reply

      You know there really should be some Internet law like Godwin’s for you…

      The fun to be had in any comment thread immediately evaporates upon the arrival of JuliaM.

  16. JuliaM (23 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 17:32 Permalink | Reply

    My, my, Larry. With that kind of eloquence , it’s a wonder you aren’t up for the Orwell Prize as well.. ;)

  17. Mike Power (47 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 17:49 Permalink | Reply

    As far as I’m concerned, there’s little difference between them. One tends to follow the other, sure as night folows day, and vice versa.

    Jeez. Tim and Justin’s rectal regions must be like Piccadilly fucking Circus!

  18. Larry Teabag (94 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 17:54 Permalink | Reply

    I think it was you, JuliaM, who wittily introduced the theme of people inhabiting each others bottoms to this thread, so you can take your sarcastic smileys and I’m sure you can find somewhere suitably horrible to plant them…

  19. Mike Power (47 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 17:59 Permalink | Reply

    The demand for arse space is growing here. I’m tempted to rent mine out for a reasonable fee. The Power gongapouch has the advantage of being set in beautiful countryside with magnificent views of the nearby wooded hills (externally, of course). A small deposit is required.

  20. CP on 28.03.2009 at 17:59 Permalink | Reply

    Is this a GAY blog?

    Is JuliaM a cute TV?

  21. Clive (41 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 18:03 Permalink | Reply

    I’ll confess, I hadn’t taken a look at the posts that Dale considered to best represent his worthiness, but against my better judgment (it being a drab Saturday afternoon and all that) I went a link-clicking.

    There are some real gems tucked away in those posts, little delights that make me wonder whether it is worth encouraging my children to try and develop their literary skills in English. After all, it would now appear that even piss-poor work is celebrated today, so why bother. I guess it’s just another aspect of this country’s race to the bottom, along with “Britain’s Got Talentless Idol Factor”. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

  22. merk on 28.03.2009 at 18:05 Permalink | Reply

    oh well count me in. I’ll try anything once (apart from incest and morris dancing). Reckon I could get Dale, Hendren & Staines all in at once?

    1. Clive (41 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 18:10 Permalink | Reply

      You obviously haven’t seen Staines. I know they say that TV adds a few pounds, but you need to be suffering from a more than substantial rectal prolapse to accommodate Paul. Physically Hendren and Dale might be possible, though the swollen egos could make insertion a tad difficult.

    2. Sim-O (92 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 19:51 Permalink | Reply

      Oi! There’s nowt wrong with morris dancing, Mr Merk!

  23. Justin on 28.03.2009 at 18:14 Permalink | Reply

    Ladies and gentlemen, please. Will you stop trying to raise the tone of this blog?

  24. merk on 28.03.2009 at 18:17 Permalink | Reply

    So this Orwell fella, did he have a shit yet popular blog that just feeds press releases from Tory HQ? I’ve never heard of the chap really, other than he died in 1984 or something.

    1. Clive (41 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 18:31 Permalink | Reply

      Don’t know about the shit yet popular blog, but apparently he was big into farming…

    2. Andrew Hickey (4 comments.) on 30.03.2009 at 10:23 Permalink | Reply

      Well, his blog is mostly concerned with eggs…

  25. Dan on 28.03.2009 at 19:02 Permalink | Reply

    Sorry to intrude on your grief, but despite your protestations this really does come across as abject jealousy.

    1. merk on 28.03.2009 at 19:04 Permalink | Reply

      Does it? You’re mistaken deary.

    2. Mike Power (47 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 19:28 Permalink | Reply

      That’s right ‘Dan’. Keep the arsehole meme going…

      By just being one.

  26. Dan on 28.03.2009 at 20:00 Permalink | Reply

    Just for the record, I meant jealousy about the nomination rather than Dale’s “fame” – and I’m quite happy to concede I may be mistaken (which I realise is not a fashionable position to adopt in the blogosphere).

    Not sure what Mike Power is hammering me for – my name is Dan; sorry about that. Anyway, how does this thread constitute a meme, and how am I ‘keeping it going’ exactly? The thread was only created this afternoon for goodness’ sake!

    1. Clive (41 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 20:20 Permalink | Reply

      Dan, the Orwell Prize entrants were self-nominated, so jealousy of Dale’s nomination would be extremely tricky for those of us who chose not to put ourselves forward. I guess we could be jealous in a “God I wish I was as lacking in awareness of my own limitations as Iain is?” or “Why can’t I choke down the nausea and be a self-publicists like Dale?” vein.

      At the end of the day, Dale’s a poor writer and our ire was originally directed mainly at the Orwell Trust. Then Dale got all personal, because only his mates are allowed to call him a shit writer. Et voila.

    2. Justin on 29.03.2009 at 08:13 Permalink | Reply

      Just for the record, I meant jealousy about the nomination rather than Dale’s “fame”

      Yeah, that’s right. I’m jealous of the nomination for an award I didn’t enter for because I regarded self-nomination to be a sickening act of diseased ego. The people I know who entered did it reluctantly to avoid leaving the field to the likes of hacks like Dale. I couldn’t even stomach that reason for entering.

  27. Mike Power (47 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 20:55 Permalink | Reply

    and I’m quite happy to concede I may be mistaken

    Yes, you are, so your visit here was rather pointless wasn’t it. Goodbye.

    PS. When you get a minute, check out the definition of ‘meme’. Then at least your time here will not have been completely in vain. You will have learned something.

  28. Jono on 28.03.2009 at 21:27 Permalink | Reply

    “Some of you are saying, ah, you’re just jealous of his blog’s readership and the fact he gets to go on the telly and radio all the time.”

    Well, I wasn’t. But I am now.

    Get a life.

    1. Justin on 29.03.2009 at 08:15 Permalink | Reply

      Did you even read the fucking post?

      Get a clue.

  29. jailhouselawyer (3 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 22:48 Permalink | Reply

    I seem to recall Bob Piper did a very good put down of JuliaM.

  30. Random on 28.03.2009 at 23:34 Permalink | Reply

    Tim Ireland

    Oh dear, everything has to be about you doesn’t it?

    No this isn’t about you, it’s about your little lickspittle who writes this turgid blog. If I might quote him, “Iain asked that I keep his email confidential. He didn’t, however, ask that I keep my reply confidential. So I’m reproducing it here – I’ve kept to the letter of Iain’s request if not the spirit”. Which is a lie because his reply makes it clear what was in Iain’s message, thus breaking the confidentiality he claimed to be keeping. It is a pointless lie of course as he had no duty of confidentiallity, so as I said it only makes him look ridiculous and self-righteous at the same time.

    Since the reply made it clear that ChickenYoghurt (Justin I take it from your comment) was wrong but just not bright enough to realise it I can’t imagine Iain was that fussed!

    And no, I have never corresponded with Iain on any subject relating to you. I have only exchanged emails with him once, and it was some time ago consisting of a single brief email each way. He and I are both far too busy to develop some conspiracy to make you look stupid when you do it so well without any assistance at all!

    After all you wade in, suggesting I would want to remove my own comment, then write one of the most ridiculous, narcissistic, pompous and self-regarding posts I have ever seen, and probably now wish to remove your own comment. Of course your toady might do so for you, so I’m tempted to keep a copy to laugh at. It is fantastically funny how self-regarding a small-time blogger can get.

    1. Tim Ireland (248 comments.) on 28.03.2009 at 23:48 Permalink | Reply

      Oh, well. I should apologise for not understanding that you were talking about an unspecified post from two years ago, but you’re using a disposable identity (i.e. a sock puppet), so there’s no reason for me to bother, now is there?

      I can’t apologise for coincidence… what could possibly be left?

      Oh, yes… Iain.

      Tell you what; I’ll apologise to him the next time he pops over to my site for a chat. It was wrong of me to suggest that – just because he’s tried to secretly share our private conversations before – that he might do it again.

    2. Justin on 29.03.2009 at 10:25 Permalink | Reply

      Which is a lie because his reply makes it clear what was in Iain’s message, thus breaking the confidentiality he claimed to be keeping.

      Well, Iain didn’t mind. He certainly didn’t complain at the time. In fact, if I remember correctly, after I wrote that post he sent me a very civil and apologetic email. I probably still have it somewhere…

      your little lickspittle who writes this turgid blog

      Actually a higher authority than you actually quite likes it or did until I signed up as Tim Ireland’s catamite. Admittedly, in the eyes of some the quality of my output has gone into a marked decline since me and Ireland started giving each other one (as so fragrantly implied by Iain’s fans).

  31. Flying Rodent (42 comments.) on 29.03.2009 at 02:36 Permalink | Reply

    I’ve only ever worked from one theory with this blogging thing – ordinary people expressing their honest opinions, however deranged, get bucketloads of leeway.

    Propagandists – especially paid propagandists – get none whatsoever.

    Amateur sleuths are invited to consider which category yer Iain Dales and Guidos, let alone yer Derek Drapers and Harry’s Places, fall in to.

  32. Daniel Hoffmann-Gill (228 comments.) on 29.03.2009 at 12:56 Permalink | Reply

    This is fucking ace in a really bad way.

    Can we not just all meet up in Finsbury Park and have a fist fight rather than comment wars, I’m handy, Tim is a big lad and sure Justin can handle himself.

    My Bronson tache is coming on a treat, some one pass the war paint…

    1. Tim Ireland (248 comments.) on 29.03.2009 at 14:22 Permalink | Reply

      DHG: Your support is appreciated as walways, and comments like that are often fine in blog chat, as most people will understand that you’re joking, but they are a gift to someone like Iain Dale who is really, really desperate to adopt victim status right now because he has no answer for the stunt he pulled over Jenvey’s paedo-smears.

      Oh, and the last time I was in a fist fight I was 8 years old, and she won.

    2. Justin on 29.03.2009 at 15:40 Permalink | Reply

      Justin can handle himself

      Blimey, you’re kidding. I’ve never hit someone in my life. I bet even a flaneur like Dale could have me.

      1. Tim Ireland (248 comments.) on 29.03.2009 at 16:13 Permalink | Reply

        Well, yes, he is kidding… but that’s not what Iain will say. Iain’s likely to make it part of a nuisance complaint to the police (or make out that he has done so, with no intention of following through), mostly because he will never be able to admit that he did SFA to help with my *genuine* harassment complaint. You know how fond he is of projection.

        Oh, and I reckon between us, I could take you… but only with the advantage of reach as I shower you with my mighty blows:
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJLDDxRIoBw

    3. Sim-O (92 comments.) on 29.03.2009 at 19:18 Permalink | Reply

      I’m handy, Tim is a big lad and sure Justin can handle himself.

      I’m not the only one to see the double entendre here am I…?

      1. Daniel Hoffmann-Gill (228 comments.) on 29.03.2009 at 20:33 Permalink | Reply

        You are not alone Sim-O, intentional bit of word play there and Tim, understand perfectly, it’s the bruiser in me coming out, I can’t help it (obviously I can) because I just feel that if all this was face to face, it just wouldn’t happen, it’s only when cowards are protected by their PCs and long distance word play they run their mouths off.

        Apologies for that and apologies also for over-estimating your real-time scrapping skills, your virtual ones though are bloody ace.

        Peace out.

  33. Justin on 29.03.2009 at 17:57 Permalink | Reply

    Can I just say how brilliant it is that friends of Iain’s have turned up to accuse me and Tim Ireland of being ‘up’ each other.

    I wonder how far such remarks would travel on Iain’s site, what with him seeing homophobia everywhere, whether it exists… or not.

    1. Savvyho on 02.04.2009 at 04:25 Permalink | Reply

      Thank God there are people out there who can see what Iain Dale really is. I used to comment on his West Ham blog until he banned my I.P and accused me of being homophobic for no reason. From the evidence Justin has provided, I see Dale has a habit of this.

      Part of the real reason for him banning me, along with the false homophobia accusation, was because unlike most on his blog, I did not agree with everything he wrote and highlighted the contradictions and inconsistencies (he also has a history of this I see) in his writing.

      I also did not like his persistent hatred and criticism of one player, Luis Boa Morte and blind love for another, Mark Noble…who he absolutely adores. Boa Morte now gets booed by some of his own fans; I can only guess that these yobs are the same zombies who follow what Dale says on his site and then go out onto the stands in a certain frame of mind. I hate to think that he has this much influence but unfortunately he does because some people do not have the ability to think for themselves.

      The guy knows nothing about football…probably hasn’t played it in his life yet has a blog just so he can seem cool and feel good about himself when his chums agree with him in their comments.

      In one correspondence with him, he reluctantly (ahem) pointed out to me how popular his blog was. My answer to that is that The Sun Newspaper is the number one circulating in the UK. It means nothing Iain apart from the number of people you attract who have a certain cognitive ability.

      The only reason why people would not notice that Iain Dale is up himself is because he’s gone so far that he’s come out the other end.

  34. CP on 29.03.2009 at 21:19 Permalink | Reply

    i am just good with this

  35. Random on 30.03.2009 at 00:29 Permalink | Reply

    Tim Ireland

    Oh, dear. I was indeed talking about an unspecified post, but since the context made it quite clear that I was referring to the author of this blog, and since it was a post linked to in the post to which I was replying, it is rather amusing that you immediately jump to the conclusion it can only have been about you. Having read some of what you have written in the past it really doesn’t surprise me.

    Sock-puppet? I’ve used this identity on the internet for 15 years now. I don’t see any way of logging in, so any identity I pick could hide me equally well. The name I choose is therefore irrelevant.

    Justin

    Eh? What are you on? Why do you assume that just because Iain Dale likes your blog I would? I read his blog, and respect his views. I don’t take my opinions from him. He likes Cliff Richard for Christ’s sake.

    I didn’t even read your blog at the time your links were written. Who knows, it might have been worth reading then, and just have gone rapidly downhill.

    Whether Iain was bothered by you breaking his confidentiality is irrelevant to my point. You claimed to keep it, and wrote a smug piece as if you’d got one over on Iain. In fact you were just being underhand and dishonest. I don’t think the dishonesty was harmful itself, as Iain had no right to demand you keep the contents to yourself. What it did was show your character and demonstrate your lack of understanding of rather a simple concept.

    1. Tim Ireland (248 comments.) on 30.03.2009 at 06:56 Permalink | Reply

      Oh dear. You’re still sock-puppeting, just eleventy-percent less likely to be one specific person. You still sound like them, though.

      And you referred to a single unspecified link in a post with some 20 links in it, nobody else knew what you were banging on about, and (I mentioned coincidence), you were banging on about something Iain himself was bitching about privately at the time. Iain, who likes to share private emails with his mates when he thinks no-one is looking, and is bitching because I’m referring to a pathetic excuse that he insists remain secret for no good reason that I can see.

      Still, willing to apologise personally to Iain (if not the puppet on some git’s hand); all he has to do is drop by and say ‘hello’.

      (PS – There’s a thread system here. Why not use it? Is everything you say so fresh and precious?)

  36. ejh (436 comments.) on 30.03.2009 at 06:22 Permalink | Reply

    Propagandists – especially paid propagandists – get none whatsoever.

    Well, I say this quite a lot in these comments boxes, but one of the reasons I dislike Alix Mortimer’s stuff so much is that she’s a propagandist. Not a paid one, but a propagandist nonetheless.

    This is why – amongst a fair quantity of other bullshit – she’s prepared to claim that she’s living in a state of unadulterated terror because of the Labour government, something people would recognise as bullshit if it came from an idiot rightist talking of ZanuLabour, but for some reason can’t when it’s a LibDem. (They really aren’t better than the others, I’m afraid.)

    Screaming exaggerations in a party cause – is this something that should win the Orwell Prize?

    Also on the question of her writing style, there’s this from Orwell’s great essay:

    If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out

    Does anybody think this is Alix Mortimer? Have a look yourself. But you may need to scroll down a long way before you’ve finished checking.

  37. Andrew Hickey (4 comments.) on 30.03.2009 at 10:32 Permalink | Reply

    Dear God in heaven, I never realised just how stupid the commenters on Dale’s blog were til I saw them here. I’ve only ever briefly looked at his site, and never delved in. I always think the comments at places like LC are bad til I look at things like Have Your Say, and apparently Dale’s commenters are the same… So at least he’s performing a useful function – imagine these people loosed on the good blogs like this one on a daily basis…

    1. MatGB (12 comments.) on 31.03.2009 at 13:25 Permalink | Reply

      Heh, this explains it. For a high traffic blog, the comment threads at LC are intelligent, rational and on topic.

      Of course, the signal/noise is terrible, but…

      So yeah, I used to read Dale’s comment threads when he started (he even emailed me once thanking me for my constructive comment and asking me to link to him), but back then there were only 20ish politics blogs worth reading. Scarily, I was one of them.

      Now there are many many more politics blogs, and there are Tory bloggers that aren’t diary column/press release central.

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