Please make it stop
Come on, enough’s enough now. I’ve just knawed gnawed my fist clean off…
Gordon Brown suffered a further humiliation last night after a guide to his make-up routine was left in a taxi by an aide.
The step-by-step instructions to applying bronzer and foundation were left in a London cab along with a pile of sensitive documents.
They included a guide to applying make-up and listed products the Prime Minister used to improve his appearance.
Can you have negative levels of dignity? Brown’s personal popularity is so low that wearing a donkey jacket to the Cenotaph would actually boost his ratings.
Posted on May 11th, 2009 at 10:58am under Brown
You know what this is don’t you?
Brown’s heard that the Brits love an underdog and so now he’s aiming to be the Eddy the Eagle of politics.
“They wont vote against me – it would be like kicking a puppy”
Cunning strategy if you ask me.
That just sounds like a low-rent variation of the Blair’s ‘masochism strategy’
(Tries to get the image of Brown-The-Gimp out of his head)
I’ve just knawed my fist clean off
In that case I’m prepared to excuse your mispronunciation of the silent consonant at the beginning of the word gnawed. But only if it’s clean off, mind.
Yes, I’m never going to be gnighted for services to the English language.
If Brown’s make-up routine was to improve his image wit’ da voterz, it patently is struggling. Perhaps we as commoners of the internet can make some better suggestions…
• Wear a tartan suit and work that hair with a tin’s worth of Dax. Seems to have worked for John Lydon, who now, somwhat bizarrely, is a harmless national treasure
• Splash out on some premium kohl and rock the goth look. You’ve already got the demeanour – why not go all the way?
• That forced smile of yours of his is uncannily like Jack Nicholson’s Joker in Batman. Dye the hair green, paint the face white and scare the botoxed cheeks off Cameron next Question Time
• Grow a massive grizzly beard, wear a smock and claim you do whatever Hagrid does at Hogwarts
• Wear a school uniform complete with shorts and cap, carry a guitar everywhere you go and continually claim to be channeling Angus Young
• Get ITV2 to make a fly-on-the-wall documentary of your every sodding moment as you move to LA for a boob job and face lift and try desperately to make the Americans notice you
I’m sure there are plenty more constructive ideas…
You missed out: Play Malvolio for the Royal Shakespeare Company
[...] then, just as a sneaking sympathy for Gordon Brown begins to creep up on you, you see him telling us which movie changed his life… I choose [...]