HOBSON’S CHOICE 2010: The patronising begins
a constituent
“We have to understand that we now have a new cohort of well, active, healthy older people. The role that they play in their families, in the economy and in society must be recognised and responded to. We must recognise the emergence of the “wellderly”.”
You can just picture the warm little thrill she got when she said that, can’t you? I bet she did her best ‘aren’t I clever’ look. I sometimes think that some people are against all-women shortlists for parliamentary seats for no other reason other than the fear that such a system might turn up another Harman.
Anyway, her talking down to the electorate got me thinking. There must be loads of condescending does-he-take-sugar neologisms that New Labour could half bake in order to patronisingly pigeonhole thinking, breathing human beings. How about…
We now have a new cohort of well, active, incontinent older people. We must recognise the emergence of the “smellderly”.
…or…
We now have a new cohort of well, active, sexy older people. We must recognise the emergence of the “bombshellderly”.
…and…
We now have a new cohort of well, active, anti-social older people. We must recognise the emergence of the “neighbourfromhellderly”.
…then there’s…
We now have a new cohort of well, active, healthy older people aghast at the destruction of our civil liberties under New Labour. We must recognise the emergence of the “orwellderly”.
Then we’ve got the ‘farewellderly’ (never going to vote New Labour again).
Posted on January 11th, 2010 at 4:01pm under 2010 General Election, Eye Catching Initiatives, New Labour
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• 18 Comments |
[applauds]
Out of interest – serious question – how are you going to vote? Quirky local candidate, or Lib Dem? Or abstention? I guess for any vaguely left-leaning person with an IQ over 13, it’s not exactly an inspirational choice.
I mean, imagine that this is the first time you’ve been eligible to vote. Christ, how depressing would that be? No wonder they all hate politics.
Caught as I am in hypermarginal Hove between slavish New Labour lobby fodder Celia Barlow and Tory in-crowd stalwart Mike Weatherley, I’m extremely tempted to sit this one out.
We now have a new cohort of well, active, inventive older people. We must recognise the emergence of the Alexander Graham Bellderly.
We now have a new cohort of IT literate and numerate people. We must recognise the emergence of the Excelderly. (You must admit that this is more New Labour than ’silver surfers’.)
We now have a new cohort of older people concerned about climate change. We must recognise the emergence of the umbrellderly.
We now have a new cohort of older people who want the return of the public hangings. We must recognise the emergence of the tumbrelderly.
We now have a new cohort of well, active, older, illegal immigrants. We must recognise the emergence of the expelderly.
We now have a cohost of older, active people who drink all night and smoke like crazy. We must recognise the emergence of the whatthehellderly.
I bet when she said that she had a proper smug grin on her face, like a schoolboy who has just farted silently, but potently, in the middle of a crowded assembly hall.
We now hav a nu cohort of well, activ, helty older peepul. We must recognize the emerjence of the cantspellderly.
We now have a cohort of older, active people who swear like troopers. We must recognise the emergence of the fuckinghellderly.
We now have a cohort of older, active people who are radical lesbian feminists. We must recognise the emergence of the JulieBindelderly.
We now have a cohort of older, active who deny the right of gay people to join the military. We must recognise the emergence of the don’taskdon’ttellderly.
We now have a new cohort of older people running up and down without regard for their or anyone else’s safety. We must recognise the emergence of the Pell-Mellderly.
We now have a cohort of older, active people who appear in crap films. We must recognise the emergence of the straightoDVDhellderly.
We now have a cohort of older, active people who keep going on and on when other older people fail. We must recognise the emergence of the Duracellderly.
We now have a cohort of older people who are obsessed with Bruce Forsyth. We must recognise the emergence of the Didn’ttheydowellderly.
We now have a cohort of older people who, due to hearing loss, speak in raised voices a lot. We must recognise the emergence of the youdon’thavetoyellderly
Very funny, all of the above.
We now have a new cohort of active older people who listen to cheesy French pop. We must recognise the emergence of the Sacha Distelderly.
We now have a new cohort of active older people who listen to moody Belgian chansonniers We must recognise the emergence of the Jacques Brelderly.
Groups neglected but crucial to New Labor:
We now have a new cohort of well, active if disoriented people. We must recognize the emergence of the pellmellderly.
We have a new cohort of well, active, highly coiffed and fashion-conscious people. We must recognize the emergence of the jelledelderly
We now have a new cohort of well, active although dead people. We must recognize the emergence–even if this requires exhumation–of the death-knellderly.