When is a 1,000-man troop withdrawal not a 1,000-man troop? When it’s a New Labour troop withdrawal, obviously. Once again, they’ve been caught double-counting. Five hundred of that 1,000 were announced last month. Two hundred and fifty troops are already home. When is a promise to make an important announcement to Parliament not a promise to make an important announcement to Parliament? When an important announcement is made in Baghdad in time for the lunchtime news bulletins. It wasn’t even made in Basra in front of British troops.
That new kind of politics we were promised is looking more and more like a cut and shunt job; the worst of Blairism welded to Brownite ruthlessness. Just why the announcement couldn’t wait to be made on Monday to Parliament hasn’t been explained, not least by the woeful defence minister Bob Ainsworth, the fall guy on this occasion, with his slippery delivery and anti-charisma. He makes Defence Secretary Des Browne look like JFK. (Not that Tory shadow Liam Fox was much better debating Ainsworth on the Today programme this morning - I have a seven year-old daughter who can debate better if the Tories are truly stuck.)
You have to wonder if there isn’t something pathological - obsessive-compulsive - about this. New Labour have been caught out time and time again doing this kind of stuff and yet they still can’t help themselves; this ‘culture of bullshit as routine’ as Charlie Whitaker puts it. I suppose they stick with it because it’s tried and tested and to a large extent it works. Most people have largely forgotten it by the time they reach the voting booth, if they make the effort at all.
But it adds a little more to the background radiation of contempt for and by politicians. It gently contributes to the slow, sad death of politics and engagement rather than inciting something stronger and healthier like the public standing up and declaring they’re sick of being spoonfed this horseshit.
This feverish twisting will no doubt become more febrile if Brown calls a general election next week. I’m in two minds about an election myself. It’d be nice to see Gordon face a vote seeing as how he didn’t have the cojones to face an internal debate and vote within his own party. On the other hand, I can’t shake the feeling that Gordon might be in a hurry before economic chickens come home to roost and American cruise missiles decide to migrate to Tehran for the winter.
You can see how this seemingly headlong rush towards an early election (symbolised by Baghdad boasting and other portents; cancelling an audience with the Pope, asking for TV slots on Monday evening…) reflects Brown’s regard for democracy and the political niceties. The electoral rolls aren’t properly updated until December 1 and the problems over postal voting have yet to be resolved. Going to the country before both are sorted could disenfranchise up to one million voters according to John Turner of the Association of Electoral Administrators speaking on Five Live last night.
But why worry about it when you’ve got a country to run? Surely a few hundred thousand people denied their democratic right is a price worth paying? Let’s just hope that they don’t all live in the 39 super-marginal constituencies where this government is going to live or die. That would be a rich irony.
UPDATE: More from John Turner in the Scotsman, on The Politics Show, The Times and elsewhere.