Being one of the Chosen People, as a voter down here in the super-marginal Hove and Portslade constituency (majority 420), I’ve very much enjoyed being lavished with attention from the local Conservative Party.

In the past few months, it’s become clear that the local party have been putting Lord Ashcroft’s treasure to good use. Barely a month goes by without a glossy despatch from Tory candidate Mike Weatherley dropping through the door.

Yesterday, however, a very different beast arrived. The four-page, tabloid-sized ‘Change’ was pushed through the letterbox.

Pieces from David Cameron and Caroline Spelman, party chairman, are on the front and Shadow Health Secretary Andrew Lansley gets page two. Shadow Chancellor George Osborne, Shadow Foreign Secretary William Hague and Shadow Home Secretary David Davis are the page three lovelies. Peter Ainsworth, the Shadow Enviroment Secretary, and Shadow Security Minister Dame Pauline Neville-Jones get the sports page.

Now, the publication’s strapline is ‘News update from your local Conservatives’. But unless Cameron, Spelman, Lansley and all have quietly moved to Hove in the last few weeks, that’s a lie isn’t it? I’ve been through the thing and there’s no mention of Hove and Portslade or Mike Weatherley. Or how the Tories would bring an end to Portslade’s dogshit crisis which is now in its 5679th day (my youngest trailed through another turd only this morning). It’s just boilerplate propaganda about what a nasty man Gordon Brown is. A paper-based WebCameron, if you will.

Not that I’m complaining or anything (I’m giving it to the gerbils to chew and turn into bedding in a minute, they’ll love it). The Tories are simply exploiting the loophole in our electoral system to get their message out and attempting to buy democracy as you’d expect from any amoral, power-hungry and cash-rich political party.

At least the Tories are visible - you never hear from Labour round here between one election and the next. It’s just worth noting that insulting people’s intelligence never, ever, goes out of fashion.

UPDATE: Looks like the gerbils’ treat might be off. Tory Central Office have just replied to my enquiry:

Dear Mrs McKeatney,

Thank you for your email which has come into David Cameron’s inbox via the Conservative Party website.

I am very pleased to hear that you have received a copy of our newsletter, and we hope that you enjoy reading it. I am afraid I simply do not know whether it would be safe for your gerbils.

Thank you again for writing.

I demand that some of Lord Ashcroft’s millions be diverted to the attempt to find out. Isn’t that the challenge of the 21st century?

The Home Office are holding a consultation into the right to protest outside Parliament as curtailed by the Serious Organised Crime and Police Act 2005. Some of us have had some fun with the law in the past but it’s long past time to get rid.

The consultation runs until January 17 2008 and the consultation document (PDF) is here. Go on, give it a look - it’s only 30 pages - and then make yourself heard. You never know. If anything, it will prove a useful learning exercise into how these things work.

UPDATE: I hope it’s not an omen but large sections of that PDF document are printing as garbage for me.

A Labour peer has admitted taking money to introduce an arms company lobbyist to the government minister in charge of weapons purchases. The case of “cash for access” in the House of Lords is likely to ignite fresh concern about ethical standards in parliament.

The lobbyist, Michael Wood, who trades as Whitehall Advisers, agreed to pay Lord Hoyle an undisclosed sum in June 2005. MoD documents released to the Guardian show that Lord Hoyle then engineered a private meeting between Mr Wood and the newly appointed defence minister.

Mr Wood is a former RAF officer who works for BAE and other smaller arms companies to help get them contracts. He has free run of the palace of Westminster because he has a security pass as a “research assistant” to another MP. He operates his company from his nearby flat.

read the rest

Labour MP Bill Rammell is bleating in the Guardian about the Tories flooding marginal constituencies with the Ashcroft millions.

How can we have a level political playing field if the rich can buy influence, asks Bill Rammell

To which the only reasonable reply would be:

How can we have a level political playing field if the voters in marginal constituencies buy influence, asks the democratically-minded

Rammell as a majority in his Harlow constituency on just 97.

Some votes are worth more than others - it’s a fact of our electoral system. Around 200,000 voters hold the balance of power in this country and therefore must be bribed and cajoled by the political parties by whatever means. I don’t remember Rammell complaining when stories were doing the rounds that the then Health Secretary Patricia Hewitt was looking to soften hospital closures and cuts in Labour marginal constituencies. How’s that for a level playing field?

Rammell conveniently forgets that the power to make all this go away is in the hands of his party - the governing party. Give us a fair and equitable electoral system where all votes are as valuable as each other. Exterminate the marginal constituencies. There’s your level playing field.

The report investigating the botched May elections in Scotland is out. Ron Gould, head of the enquiry, is clearly some kind of free-thinking anarchist:

[F]uture elections should consider the voter above all else.

Future elections should what? Just what kind of universe is this hippie living in? It’s sure as shit not the same one as our pragmatic and head-headed leaders who are facing up to the challenge of the 21st century.

You can’t make our democracy fully accountable to the people because… look, you just can’t ok?

This is how democracy works.

You’re the governing party. Your political opponent is flooding the marginal constituencies with cash in an attempt to win both them and power at the next general election. You lack the funds to match them. You lack the ability to win the war of ideas (such as they are) on the ground. You lack the democratic instinct to rectify the travesty of marginal constituencies holding the balance of power in our electoral system.

What do you do? You threaten to cut off your opponent’s flow of funds by proposing banning large donations to political parties between general election. ‘[T]o prevent the millionaire Lord Ashcroft bankrolling Tory campaigns in marginal seats’. That ‘between general elections’ is important. It means your opponents can’t shore up support in the long term but you can take a huge bung from your supporters once an election is called.

They say for all his talk of it, that Brown lacks ‘vision’. But I think we can see ‘Brownism’ finally starting to crystallise. It is doing what is easy rather than what is right. It is using power for the direct benefit of one’s political party. It is a childishness that takes rather than earns. It is mere tinkering; a sticking plaster here, a stitch there - the patient is dying but nobody is interested in why, just in keeping him going a bit longer.

And if Gordon had an Ashcroft of his own in his back pocket, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.

Johann Hari writes about the perversity of our electoral system in today’s Independent. Gordon Brown’s going to have to give some serious thought about how he’s going to buy the votes of those living in marginal constituencies because the Tories are way ahead of him:

The banker Ashcroft comes 89th on the Sunday Times Rich List, clocking in at £800m. He keeps much of this fortune stashed away in Belize, a Central American tax haven, and he lavishes cash on right-wing governments that cut taxes for people like him, from Australia to Central America. Now he is David Cameron’s paymaster, with a desk at the heart of Conservative Central Office and the modest-sounding title of Deputy Chair.

His plan is simple. He wants to pick the few Middle England swing seats that invariably determine an election in Britain, and lavish his cash on them from now until a few weeks before polling day, when the donations are suddenly capped by election law. He will pay for extensive opinion polling, telephone canvassing, and all-important direct mail, targeted for each constituency’s worries. Last month alone, he spent £2m in swing seats. Labour can’t even begin to compete, never mind the smaller parties.

Previously, I’ve been against state funding of political parties but it’s starting to look like we’re going to have a whip-round to buy back our democracy. Hari again:

If our politics is paid for by the richest one per cent, it will work in the interests of the richest one per cent – just look across the Atlantic. The solution has been outlined in Helena Kennedy’s Power report. She suggested that every British citizen should have to simply tick a box once every few years, donating a couple of pounds from state coffers to the local branch of a political party of their choice. Political parties are an essential part of our democracy: if you complain that you don’t want to pay for them, you might as well complain that you don’t want to pay for the ballot boxes or for the pencils in the voting booths.

I’m almost persuaded; it’s a plan but I’d add a few provisos. At the last election I didn’t vote for anyone, so who gets my two pounds? I’m fond of a protest vote as well but that doesn’t mean I want to give my two quid to that party. Can we have a write-in so I can nominate a charity campaigning for electoral reform?

How about this. Anyone not nominating a party to donate to will receive a voucher for a glass of wine or a pint of beer at their local pub, or a free DVD rental from their local video shop. Let’s see if the political parties can make voting for them more enticing. I wouldn’t bet anything significant on it.

The Times:

Thousands of demonstrators planning to march on Parliament to call for the withdrawal of troops from Afrghanistan and Iraq have been told that their protest has been banned.

The Metropolitan Police told organisers of the Stop the War Coalition that no march would now be allowed “within one mile of Parliament” while MPs were in session.

I thought we were doing away with this in Gordon’s shiny new Britain, Britain, Britain (repeat 81 times or until BNP voters are shoring up your marginal seats, whichever comes first)?

What next, closing the internet cafes around Parliament while the police administer a good hiding? Sorry, my mistake. Forgive the hyperbole. I keep forgetting this is a free country. Still, what do you expect when the servants forget their place?

One mile. I’ve been on some noisy marches before but I’m fairly sure none of them made enough noise to be heard a mile away. That must be it. Those marches, I’ll admit, probably did make enough noise to upset the delicate dispositions of our elected representatives. When they want to hear from us, they’ll tell us.

Poor things. Surely such sensitive souls aren’t cut out for the rough and tumble of political life? The stresses and strains of running a democracy (I use the that term loosely) are surely too much for such poor little butterflies.

Any MP who thinks this ban is a necessary measure should be gently led away and sat down somewhere quiet with a cup of milky tea and an almighty whack with a chemical cosh. It’s for their own good. That and the fact that they’re an eyesore behind which terrorists could pick us off.

Breaking News: Al Qaeda pack up and go home. ‘We’ve contracted out our assault on Western freedoms’, says Osama. Milo Minderbinder was unavailable for comment.

Adam Boulton:

Under Tony Blair Labour dramatically changed the way Westminster did business just by shifting around the parliamentary timetable.

…

The net effect was that the Prime Minister, and MPs needed to spend less time in Parliament.

Gordon Brown is carrying on with these reforms - perhaps surprisingly since he has said that he wants to place parliament at the centre of the national debate. Almost all fixed points in the diary have been moved to the beginning of the week.

…

Far from being held to account more frequently by parliament, the new timetable actually seems to free up the government to behave more like a Presidential administration.

Smooth. An orderly transition of power, I think you could call it. Bloodless, you might say.

The database, which goes live next year, is to contain details of every one of the 11 million children in the country, listing their name, address and gender, as well as contact details for their GP, school and parents and other carers. The record will also include contacts with hospital consultants and other professionals, and could show whether the child has been the subject of a formal assessment on whether he or she needs extra help.

It will be available to an estimated 330,000 vetted users. Some of those allowed to check records, such as head teachers, doctors, youth offender and social workers, are uncontroversial, but critics have questioned why other potential users, such as fire and rescue staff, will have access to the database.

read the rest

(via Tim W.)

Update: And then there’s this:

Concerns have been intensified by the admission that, while every child under 18 in England will have a record, ministers have allowed some children to be given extra protection. The “shielding” mechanism will mean that information on the offspring of some politicians and celebrities could be left off the main database.

Over 500,000 names on the DNA database are false, misspelt or incorrect, the Government has admitted.

Ministers have disclosed that one in seven of the genetic profiles on the controversial database is a “replicate”, raising alarming questions about the integrity and accuracy of the entire system.

read the rest

(Via Philip)

Armed police will use anti-terrorism powers to “deal robustly” with climate change protesters at Heathrow next week, as confrontations threaten to bring major delays to the already overstretched airport.

Up to 1,800 extra officers will be drafted in to prevent an estimated 1,500 people disrupting the airport over the period of the camp for climate change, which is due to begin on Tuesday. The police have been told to use stop and search powers against the protesters, who have pledged to take direct action on August 18 and 19 but not to endanger life.

read the rest

…and it’s a doozy:

“I will boycott any company that wins a contract to deliver the National ID card but only if 500 other people will do the same.”

Sign it here, text ‘pledge ID-Boycott’ to 60022 (in the UK only) or share and sign the pledge in Facebook.

(via Tim W.)

Imagine you’re fighting two wars. Neither of them seems to being going very well unfortunately. Cock-ups, conspiracies and downright childlike incompetence masquerading as malice have managed to serve up a bloody banquet of bugger all.

You’re losing the media war as well. Stories of your cock-ups, conspiracies and downright childlike incompetence masquerading as malice are rife.

So, what are you to do? Roll up your sleeves, stamp out the cock-ups, debunk the conspiracies and evict the downright childlike incompetence masquerading as malice? Nah. Why bother when you can just choke off the sources of tales of your amateurism? If it’s not in the papers, who cares?

Sorted.

Today marks another milestone in delivery of the National Identity Scheme with the start of the procurement process.

For the first time in the UK there will be a single safe, trusted way for individuals, business, and the State to prove identity securely, conveniently and efficiently. Through the Scheme, identity will be protected from people who might want to misuse or steal it. There will be independent oversight of the system and public accountability for how it is run.

read the rest

Most people will probably think this a minor point, a detail of process and thus not worthy of attention. But it’s worth reading if you are at all under any lingering impression that Gordon Brown is on a mission to fix our broken democracy.

Time to start keeping another list. This is number two. Number one is this:

Gordon Brown yesterday tore up Blairite plans for a supercasino based in Manchester… the prime minister had not discussed it with the cabinet.

I’m no fan of super-casinos nor a constitutional expert, but wasn’t there an act of parliament laying this down in law? (Which Brown voted for.) You know, democratic process ‘n’ shit?

The Government, in the shape of the woeful Liam Byrne, beaten on every front in the argument for ID cards, make for their last refuge: Patriotism.

The identity card scheme will become a “great British institution” on a par with the railways in the 19th Century, Home Office minister Liam Byrne says.

With nowhere left to run, it’s suddenly, ‘Your National Identity Register needs YOU’.

It’s reasoning that would disgrace the drunkest of pub arguments. I demand, and get, more respect and intellectual rigour from my two children (7 and 3). Why are our leaders the only factor in our lives from whom we accept such intellectual and moral retardation?

I’m quite (but vaguely) fond of the idea of a written constitution for the United Kingdom. But when you see just what these yahoos think constitutes ‘Britishness’, the more I’m sure I don’t want a single one of them anywhere near the drafting process.

Well now, this is interesting.

Gordon Brown has promised to reverse the Commons decision to exempt MPs from the Freedom of Information Act. “It will be corrected,” he said of the legislation, passed by MPs 10 days ago. is interesting.

Put the Prime Minister elect in front of an audience of book-loving luvvies and happy camping Hampstead liberals, have Mariella Frostrup purr in his ear, and he folds faster than Tony Blair being told to grab his ankles by Rupert Murdoch.

Not that we should expect that this reversal sets any kind of encouraging precedent, but we can only hope that John Reid’s last gasp grab for Mosleyite posterity is similarly screwed.

…petition the Prime Minister to implement a full Freedom of Information Act. There is no justification in Government business being executed in a shroud of secrecy. The Government works in our name, therefore access to ALL business should be free and immediate.

Section 37 of the Identity Cards Act 2006 requires the Home Secretary to publish his estimate of the ten-year cost of the ID scheme “before the end of every six months”. The first Dobson report was published on 9th October 2006. The next report is now more than two weeks overdue.

Phil Booth, NO2ID’s National Coordinator said:

“What’s the big secret – why the delay? It can’t be lack of resources as there are dozens of highly-paid consultants doing nothing but planning the ID scheme. These latest cost estimates matter to local government and yet the Government is hiding the cost to councils, even from its own candidates.

“The elections on May 3rd are a test for policy and the ID scheme is unpopular. 1 in 3 people across the UK, if we are to believe recently-revealed government figures, are expected to resist it. Labour Party candidates, whatever their personal views on the scheme, suffer when public attention is drawn to it. Is this yet another attempt to bury bad news?”

read the rest

The Department for Constitutional Affairs (DCA) - against the advice of the Electoral Commission, an independent watchdog, has decided to play fast and loose with the election process and commission a spate of experimental voting and counting procedures which have not been properly thought out. Worse, some of the experiments have been predicated on laws that, ministers have just discovered, were not properly drafted in the first place.

read the rest

In half an hour…

Mark Thomas: my life in serious organised crime.

Update: Mark’s on form today:

Consider Geoff Hoon, being defence secretary will be the crowning point of his career. As such it is unlikely that he will ever condemn the invasion of Iraq and his role in it. He is probably proud of his part and I reckon every now and again he must glimpse the flames of Baghdad on the telly, nudge his wife on the sofa and say, ”I did that. That was me.”

A computer blip is threatening to wreck electronic counting in May’s local elections - delaying the potential overnight declarations in dozens of town halls across England.

Thousands of people who have downloaded postal voting forms from the Electoral Commission’s website could find they cannot be properly validated by their local council.

read the rest

I was one of 60 citizens in Downing Street on Saturday, but the consultation was a sham, says Liam Curtin.

Read the rest