‘Sleaze’ archive

Dirty deeds done dirt cheap


Oh! What a Lovely Whore

The government flashes its knickers at BAE

BAE Systems has signed a 15-year deal with the Ministry of Defence (MoD) to supply the UK armed forces with small arms and medium-calibre ammunition.

It also includes mortar bombs, tank, artillery and naval gun shells, but not weapons such as guided missiles.

No guided missiles? That’s a relief. Still, this should encourage us all. It shows that corruption is no barrier to success.

BAE, needless to say, are jumping about with joy. Here’s Charlie Blakemore, managing director of BAE Systems Land Systems Munitions…

You can imagine that the rate of production that we are now at, it’s been some achievement to keep that going in that period to make sure that we deliver on time.

You can imagine that the rate of production that we are now at. Oh do shut up, Charlie, you sound like a teenager talking about how much self-abuse he manages to fit into a day. Well done for keeping it up this long. You can almost hear the grin in the statement.

I know embellishing one’s CV is frowned up but think of the benefits. Worried you might not get that job? Just say you bought prostitutes - sorry, hostesses - and yachts for Saudi Princes and you’ll be quids in. There are those out there who’ll find it irresistible, like a spray of Lynx for your career.

Posted on August 21st, 2008 at 9:07 am

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A proper Charlie
Risking the Wrath of Rumsfeld
The Guardian: U.N.: Weapons Equipment Missing in Iraq
   
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42 days: the price is right

I was wondering if the government’s tactics to win the vote on 42 days internment might be applicable in other walks of life. After all, these people are exemplars who have risen to the highest stations in British life. Why would it be wrong to follow their example?

For those just coming in, the government, worried about losing the anti-terror legislation debate this evening, and having comprehensively lost the argument, have had to resort to buying votes. It’s called ‘making concessions’ by those in the trade who like to glamorise these transactions, but it’s really old fashioned pork-barrelling, bribery and whoring.

Everyone’s principles have a price, or at least that’s the government’s thinking. I suppose they jettisoned theirs so long ago and so cheaply they think everyone else is just like them. Unfortunately, it turns out they might be right.

Still, it’s useful to know just what price some MPs put on a thousand years of British liberty and common law. Could come in useful later down the line - maybe we could club together and buy an MP of our own.

DUP MPs are collectively worth around 200 million quid but there are bargains to be had apparently. According the BBC’s Nick Robinson one Labour MP has been offered money for a miner’s compensation fund. Why that MP isn’t asking why the money isn’t there already hasn’t been explained.

Another has been promised that Gordon Brown would oppose sanctions against Cuba. So much for the world statesman and champion of democracy. Who knew the major issues of geopolitics were so malleable, so reasonably priced? I’m just sorry there isn’t a Labour MP standing on a platform of free jetpacks for all.

It really doesn’t seem to have occurred to Gordon Brown in his scramble to look hard that if he had a rock solid, utterly convincing, based in evidence case for 42 days he’d have little opposition and none of this tawdry haggling and dragging politics through the shit once again would have been necessary.

Still, as I said, this is an approach that could help us all in our daily lives. Exam students, instead of making arguments and forming conclusions in essays, should merely staple a tenner to their answer papers. Or a note with ‘IOU One Blow Job’ written on it.

Job interviews. Bringing up children. Getting them into a good school. Negotiating a promotion at work. All that effort. All that stress. All that tiredness. All gone with the wave of a ‘concession’.

It would certainly take the bowel-shaking tension out of forming human relationships. Forget charm, wit, wooing, personality and the wonderful mix of emotions involved in finding a partner. Merely ascertain at what price your potential life-partner would consider putting out.

It comes close to soliciting prostitution, obviously, but all’s fair in the lofty matters of love and war (on terror) as any government minister would tell you. Whispering ‘Hulloo darlin’, how’d you fancy making concessions?’ in a sexy Gordon Brown voice will no doubt have the object of your desire weak at the knees.

Posted on June 11th, 2008 at 11:19 am

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Filed under A 'new' politics, Affronts to democracy, New Labour, Sleaze, T.W.A.T., The home front
 
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Misfire!

You know, sometimes Britain looks a bit like the town of Big Whiskey in Unforgiven. The Sheriff’s a bastard who needs a reminder of how the law works.

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to to observe the rule of law by reinstating the BAE- Saudi Arabia criminal investigation by the SFO and defending its deliberations against influence by its subjects.

Go sign, townsfolk. Pass the word to yer neighbours ‘n’ kin.

Posted on April 23rd, 2008 at 8:35 am

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Forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatown
Judicial preview
Sunday Times: Bid to end Saudi probe over arms deal threat
   
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More perverting the course of justice: a step-by-step guide


Prince Bandar bin Sultan Karen Matthews
Prince Pauper

Following on from steps one and two, here’s more on how to do it…

3. DO be at the centre of allegations that you received £1 billion on bribes and kickbacks.
4. DON’T be at the centre of allegations that you received £400 a week in moody benefits payments.

The latter will buy you a widescreen television and two computers. The former will buy you.

Posted on April 12th, 2008 at 5:58 pm

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Perverting the course of justice: a step-by-step guide
Guardian: Brutal politics lesson for corruption investigators
The threat of a bad example
   
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Perverting the course of justice: a step-by-step guide

So you’ve decided to pervert the course of justice. Before you embark on your venture, there are a number of considerations to take into accout if you are to be successful.


Prince Bandar bin Sultan Karen Matthews
Prince Pauper


1. DO be a monied Saudi prince with eight children.
2. DON’T be poor, underclass scum with seven children.

Keep to these rules and the balls of the great and the good will be gently lowered into your outstretched palm so you can give them a good squeeze. Don’t forget to enjoy yourself.

Posted on April 11th, 2008 at 2:03 pm

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The NUT: TRAITORS!
Curious Hamster: A Thought Experiment
Give an inch, lose a mile
   
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BBC News: SFO unlawful in ending BAE probe

Very good news:

The High Court has ruled that the Serious Fraud Office (SFO) acted unlawfully by dropping a corruption probe into a £43bn Saudi arms deal.

Read the rest (not many details yet).

Update: Corner House and CAAT press release.

Posted on April 10th, 2008 at 10:22 am

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Judicial preview
Now watch very carefully. Try not to blink
BBC NEWS: Court to study BAE fraud decision
   
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Judicial preview

A heads-up from CAAT:

We thought you would like to know that the judgement of the CAAT / Corner House Judicial Review of the Government’s decision to stop the Serious Fraud Office investigation of BAE’s Al Yamamah arms deal with Saudi Arabia will be announced at 10am on Thursday 10th April.

Set your alarm.

Posted on April 8th, 2008 at 1:38 pm

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BBC News: SFO unlawful in ending BAE probe
Forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatown
Now watch very carefully. Try not to blink
   
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Taking the Michael

I’m not sure that this campaign against House of Commons speaker Michael Martin is motivated by snobbery or class prejudice. Like the campaign against John Prescott a while back, I think most want to see the back of Martin not because of where he’s from but because he’s quite clearly utterly crap at his job.

That said, Martin is entitled to feel aggrieved for that very reason. He must look at the front benches of all the parties and wonder why others aren’t being hounded just as harshly but it’s difficult to feel much sympathy.

Posted on February 25th, 2008 at 8:40 am

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Back (door) to Basics
   
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The threat of a bad example

The high court has heard unchallenged allegations that it was Prince Bandar, the alleged beneficiary of £1bn in secret payments from the arms giant BAE, who threatened to cut off intelligence on terrorists if the investigation into him and his family was not stopped.

Remind me, what happened the last time a Middle Eastern country ‘threatened‘ our security?

Posted on February 18th, 2008 at 9:42 am

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I know nothing stays the same, but if you’re willing to play the game, it’s coming around again
Sunday Times: Bid to end Saudi probe over arms deal threat
The Sun to Taliban: keep watching the skies
   
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George Monbiot: This scandal makes it clear: for Labour, money trumps principle every time

Taking money from Isaac Kaye defaces Peter Hain’s only remaining conviction. When Hain became a Labour cabinet member and was obliged to ditch everything he once believed, he was allowed to keep just one political memento: his admirable record of opposition to the apartheid government. When he moved from South Africa to Britain he became this country’s leading opponent of apartheid. The regime first tried to kill him, then tried to fit him up for a bank robbery. He was a brave and remarkable campaigner. But in 2007 he trampled his medals into the mud to get the money he needed.

This is the story of our political system, of most of the world’s political systems. You enter politics with the highest ideals and end up grovelling to multi-millionaires.

Read the rest

Posted on February 5th, 2008 at 4:05 am

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Olbermann
Independent - Leading commentators: What are their credentials?
George Monbiot: Protest is criminalised and the huffers and puffers say nothing
   
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Selling oneself in a democracy

The estimable Councillor Bob has got me thinking and commenting about Members of Parliament versus the ’snouts in the trough’ attitude about them that pervades much of the media and thinking of the public.

Apart from cases like Derek Conway, which looks indefensible whichever way you slice it, I think there is a way for MPs and politicians in general to win more hearts and minds. It’s a naive suggestion and would probably be resisted by all manner of vested interests.

In short, the case should be made to politicians that, ‘OK, we’re paying you all this money, show us in ways we can understand what we’re getting for it and that you’re earning it’. It’s not going to win everybody over particularly the partisan, the self-aggrandising and those with lucrative axes to grind. It’s not even a direct call for accountability - that would surely follow with greater and more comprehensible (if not comprehensive) openness.

I think that for many people, politics is an opaque process, particularly when it comes to Members of Parliament. Most people read the papers and think ’snouts in the trough’ and go no further. I wonder if those people have had very few dealings with their own member of parliament. This is an admission as much as an observation. I imagine people desperate enough (and I don’t mean that disparagingly) to have had to ask for and received their MP’s constructive help look at it rather differently.

A story that stayed with me was that of Brian Sedgemore, former Labour MP for Hackney South and Shoreditch, who defected to the Lib Dems during the last general election campaign. It was against human nature to expect Blair to laud Sedgemore’s 22 years service as a committed constituency MP rather than someone the voters ‘have never heard of’.

But Sedgemore’s long, attentive service was remembered by some and with a degree of fondness. Just as us cynics refuse to believe that Derek Conway is the only MP of his ilk in the House, we must also force ourselves to think and hope the same of Sedgemore. It’s just more verifiable evidence of either would help everybody, inside and outside of Parliament.

It’s a question of making friends. Imagine if, for example, government websites were better designed, more accessible and user friendly. There would be those who would still resent the sums spent on the sites, but I’d bet it’d be a lot less than those who resents them now, in the age of the amateurism that passes for much of online government.

Imagine if Harriet Harman had stood by the promises and statements she made during he deputy leadership bid. Imagine if she hadn’t automatically reverted to New Labour drone the second her victory was secured. Maybe she’d have found herself with more support when the tabloids came knocking. The amounts of money troubling her are trivial but there would be fewer calling for her head, or at least standing by silently, if she was demonstrably doing her job well.

If something is done well, impressively, on time, with efficiency, or whatever superlative you prefer, its cost is often, if not overlooked, then at least looked on more favourably. People are willing to pay for quality. It’s why the 2012 Olympics are a disaster waiting to happen.

It has to be said though that it’s for politician to court us, the public, not for us to hang around on the off chance one of them might look our way and we can be nice to them. They should show actively us they’re worth the lavish sums heaped upon them. If it turns out we don’t think - on the basis of the evidence - they are worth those sums then they need to up their game until they demonstrably are. Or they take a pay cut or go and do something else.

How you go about all this is for further consideration. It would mean a lot of changes to attitudes, procedures and prejudices. It starts to sound like a performance related pay scheme, doesn’t it? Also, the political will drought, partisan cynicism and the insatiable drive for newspaper sales are very probably insurmountable.

Posted on February 3rd, 2008 at 9:30 am

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Sedgemore: Twenty-two Years of Solicitude
Attention to detail
So you run down to the safety of the town
   
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The threat of a good example

I bet this guy’s popular with his workmates tomorrow:

In a move that will challenge the secrecy surrounding MPs’ allowances, Ben Wallace has released detailed information about how he spends more than £152,000 of taxpayers’ money.

Still, you know what ‘they’ say: if you’ve got nothing to hide, you’ve got nothing to fear. Après Wallace, will it be le déluge or le dribble of like-minded honesty from his peers?

Posted on February 3rd, 2008 at 2:15 am

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The Curmudgeon: They’re Innocent
   
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Can slain Hain drain strain?

He’s gone then.

(Still, look on the bright side. Who’s interested in shonky counter-terrorism legislation and Treasury twisting over capital gains tax now?)

Update @ 4.20pm: Oh, cack. James Purnell got Work and Pensions. Good news for the arts, I suppose, but I wonder if we’ll look back on Hain’s time as a golden age. Or at least a bronzed one.

Update 6.45pm: I take it back. It’s not good news for the arts.

Posted on January 24th, 2008 at 5:43 am

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Probably just a coincidence
The petri dish of ambition
The Counter-Terrorism Bill 2007-08
   
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Warning: cheap shot ahead

Peter Hain wields the big stick:

We have identified areas that require immediate action. Living together fraud is now the single largest element of fraud in income support and we aim to make significant savings by stopping these cheats.

Yes, benefit cheats. Scum of the Earth bringing the country to it’s knees and far, far more morally reprehensible than, say, the non-domiciled super rich.

The thing is, what if some of these undeclared co-habitees have made an honest mistake? What if they’ve simply forgotten to declare their change of status? What if they’re guilty of nothing more than an incompetence? Surely they don’t deserve to be punished?

Posted on January 23rd, 2008 at 4:14 am

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A level playing field: treat everybody like scum
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Scotland Yard to investigate Tony Blair and ex-Attorney General Peter Goldsmith for war crimes

About This Video.

Press Release: Scotland Yard to investigate Tony Blair and ex-Attorney General Peter Goldsmith for war crimes

(Video permalink)

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Press Conference,
Room C, 1 Parliament Street
Tuesday 15th January 2008 3pm

John McDonnell MP, Chris Coverdale: International War Law Expert and Annie Machon of the Campaign to Make War History brief MPs and the media on allegations of war crimes committed against the people of Iraq by Britain’s former Prime Minister and former Attorney General.

Officers from Scotland Yard have commenced a criminal investigation into the deaths of Iraqi citizens killed during the armed invasion and occupation of Iraq. The Metropolitan Police are acting in response to crimes reported by peace activists from We Are Change UK and The Campaign to Make War History. In an unprecedented step, the case was handed to the War Crimes division of the Counter Terrorism branch who are now investigating allegations of 14 criminal offences committed by Tony Blair, Lord Goldsmith and others. The offences are under the International Criminal Court Act 2001, which came into effect under English common law, just two days before 9/11.

Two Members of We Are Change UK and a representative from the Campaign to Make War History were interviewed for six hours at Belgravia Police station on the 20th December 2007. Evidence was provided to the police relating to the crimes of:-

• genocide, crimes against humanity, war crimes and conduct ancillary to these crimes under Sections 51 and 52 of The International Criminal Court Act 2001.
• a crime against peace and complicity in a crime against peace under Articles 6 and 7 of The Nuremburg Principles.
• murder, incitement to murder and conspiracy to murder under the Offences Against the Person Act 1861.
• conspiracy to commit genocide, a crime against humanity and war crimes under the Criminal Law Act 1977.

(Thanks to Hannah.)

Posted on January 20th, 2008 at 12:33 pm

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Scotland Yard to investigate Blair and Goldsmith war crimes
Sunday Times: Bid to end Saudi probe over arms deal threat
When innocence in no defence
   
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Well that’s all right then

Andrew Rawnsley in the Observer:

Most of our politicians are not bent. They may be vainglorious, foolish and incompetent, but the vast majority are not crooks.

I feel much better. Don’t you?

Posted on January 20th, 2008 at 7:13 am

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Ten
   
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The Profligate Peter Hain

Peter Hain has apologised for “the embarrassment caused by poor administration” but insisted that he wants to get on with his cabinet jobs.

Well somebody had so say it sooner or later. Iraq, MRSA, rampant anti-terror legislation, unaccountable government, myriad computer system cock-ups, the demonisation of refugees and all the rest - it’s about time we had an apology. What’s that? He’s only apologising for his cock-eyed deputy leadership bid? That’s a shame.

So what the hell did Hain spend it all on? Two hundred grand to be beaten in a popularity contest by Harriet bloody Harman? If I was him, I wouldn’t be wondering if it was worth carrying on in politics, I’d be pondering whether it was worth carrying on living.

Hain has spoken in the past of his ‘political journey’. That’s a euphemism for changing from a person who was once vociferously against the terror of the state into a person who is vociferously for the terror of the state. That he should stray so far from his roots that he could be this blase about hundreds of thousands pounds, where they came from and where they went, shows that his journey is reaching its destination.

It would take the vast majority of people decades to earn these sums. Hain threw about more cash in order to polish his ego than a lot of people’s houses are worth. He thought two hundred grand was a price worth paying to get people to like him a bit more than they did Hazel Blears. How hard can that be for God’s sake? When you look at the breakdown of the deputy leadership vote, you’d bet Gary Glitter could have beaten Blears with no grander inducements offered than a couple of rounds of drinks and a bag of crisps.

But don’t worry. The next time you’re in a spot of bother paying the mortgage or trying to explain the overdraft to the bank manager, just say that you’re embarrassed but it’s all down to your ‘poor administration’. I’m sure they’ll be sympathetic. If not write to Peter and ask if he can back you up.

Update: Matthew Norman:

More poignantly, he will long be recalled as a poster boy for a political age in which remembering the beliefs that drove people into politics in the first place became an unaffordable inconvenience.

Update updated: Amen.

Posted on January 12th, 2008 at 9:50 am

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Rivers of Blears
Peter Hain: speech is now half-price.
And another thing
   
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Guardian: Peer was paid to introduce lobbyist to minister

A Labour peer has admitted taking money to introduce an arms company lobbyist to the government minister in charge of weapons purchases. The case of “cash for access” in the House of Lords is likely to ignite fresh concern about ethical standards in parliament.

The lobbyist, Michael Wood, who trades as Whitehall Advisers, agreed to pay Lord Hoyle an undisclosed sum in June 2005. MoD documents released to the Guardian show that Lord Hoyle then engineered a private meeting between Mr Wood and the newly appointed defence minister.

Mr Wood is a former RAF officer who works for BAE and other smaller arms companies to help get them contracts. He has free run of the palace of Westminster because he has a security pass as a “research assistant” to another MP. He operates his company from his nearby flat.

read the rest

Posted on October 26th, 2007 at 8:57 am

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Worthing Wood
Guardian - Revealed: official passes that give BAE access to the top at the MoD
Media Guardian: Guardian resizes ahead of schedule
   
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Tom Bower: The stench of impunity wafts over the final act in this cash-for-honours farce

Few outside politics can understand why accountability among the players and performers in Westminster and Whitehall has become a curiosity mentioned in constitutional textbooks, rather than being a realistic deterrent to misbehaviour. Nowadays there seem to be few champions of truth, willing to use the protection of parliamentary privilege and eager to name and shame the culpable for their sins. In their absence, there is a legacy of concealment, excuses and suspicion of dishonesty. Inevitably Westminster’s rot has spread and is infecting everyday life in Britain.

read the rest

Posted on October 24th, 2007 at 10:11 am

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Guardian - Revealed: official passes that give BAE access to the top at the MoD

The disclosure has triggered accusations that the relationship between the MoD and BAE is too close and allows the arms company to exert too much political influence over the government. The MoD is refusing to disclose the names of the BAE employees with the official passes, or why they were given them, saying the information would breach their privacy and security. However, it is known that one has been held by BAE’s chief lobbyist, Julian Scopes. The pass gave him access to the top levels of the ministry, enabling him to lobby ministers and senior officials and promote BAE’s commercial interests.

read the rest

Posted on August 16th, 2007 at 10:19 am

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The Guardian: Lobby warning by Home Office was ‘hypocrisy’
Guardian: Peer was paid to introduce lobbyist to minister
Sunday Times - ID cards doomed, say officials
   
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Tell Alastair Campbell to go f**k himself update

Tim:

‘It is now two weeks later. Alastair Campbell’s book has been marked down to less than £13 by Tesco and Amazon. Copies are trading on eBay for less than £7. I thank you all for your input (or, rather, the admirable restraint that led to a notable lack of it). Cheers all.’

Posted on July 25th, 2007 at 10:33 am

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Nowhere to run to, baby

I’ve been enjoying the indignant screeching of the Blair circle over the collapse of the cash for honours case. The unseemly braying of wounded pride is a feast. The lack of self-awareness that misses the fact that, in a less supine, bovine age, they’d have been on the wrong end of a piano wire/lamp post interface rather than a few awkward questions from the police, is delicious. That their best defender is a two-time crook like Peter Mandelson says it all, really.

The jug-headed hyperbole has been most spectacular. We absolutely, positively do not live in a police state we’re constantly told by our masters. But a copper knocks on their doors and Lord Puttnam is screaming ‘Stasi!’ on Channel 4 News and former PM chief of staff Jonathan Powell’s wife howls ‘Gestapo!‘ to the Observer.

Where left to go from there? You’ve dealt from the top of the deck with those epithets - Ruth Turner one remove from a Siberian labour camp and Lord Levy a short trip from the ovens. What if there’d been charges laid? The Blair clique would have had to scream about ‘Deatheater’ tactics or the police’s ‘Dalek-like’ disregard for the niceties, surely.

How do you describe these actions of the police, Lord Puttnam and Mrs Powell? ‘Vader-esque’? ‘Satanic’?

Posted on July 22nd, 2007 at 10:15 am

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Hang on a minute
Good riddance
Matthew Norman: We are the world leaders in ineptitude
   
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Hang on a minute

Nobody charged in the ‘cash for peerages’ debacle. Characters unstained. Trebles all round. Apparently.

So, if there’s no problem with the system of political party funding as it stands - if nobody did anything wrong - why is Gordon Brown pressing on with reform?

If it ain’t (apparently) broke, why fix it?

(An aside: Lord Puttnam on Channel 4 News this evening said Ruth Turner had been the victim of ‘Stasi’-esque tactics. A prize for anyone who can point out an instance of Puttnam defending anyone else from the depredations of the state in such a fashion. Bonus points if the victim was a brown or Muslim nobody as opposed to a fragrant confidante of the former Prime Minister.)

Posted on July 20th, 2007 at 8:16 pm

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Nowhere to run to, baby
A view from the opposition benches
Ask Tony and win II
   
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The Curmudgeon: They’re Innocent

Despite the dangers and hardships involved in the investigation, which cost £800,000 of taxpayers’ money, the three highly influential and well-connected people involved were not shot, and the possibility that they might have confessed if imprisoned indefinitely without charge does not appear to have been explored.

read the rest

Posted on July 20th, 2007 at 8:02 am

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Smell the glove
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Thought experiment

Imagine I have a million pounds. For that sum, who’d swap places with Assistant Commissioner John Yates of Scotland Yard tonight? Not I - they’re going to make him wish he’d never been born.

Posted on July 20th, 2007 at 12:31 am

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Little women
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